No Regrets
by Nimira8
Summary: Nikki Casteel shares traits of both Candor and Dauntless. She chooses Dauntless on the belief that it will help her to forget her past. What she doesn't predict, however, are the people she meets. Slowly, they begin to break down the shield she built up. One particular Erudite transfer will earn his place. *Slow Burn* (Eric/Oc) *During Four and Eric's initiation year*
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own anything from the Divergent series, just my characters and the plot. Also, I made the initiation age 18 because I honestly felt that 16 was too young for some things. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

I stare at the blank white walls with my arms crossed, utterly bore. My legs and arms are crossed as I slouched against my seat. I've been waiting for over an hour for the Erudites, Dauntless, and Amity teenagers to finish taking their Aptitude Test. _How hard can it really be? It's just a simulation,_ I think. At least I wasn't in Abnegation, my patience would not have lasted through all the other four factions. I check the white watch on my wrist and sighed. _Why is it taking so long? Make that an hour and fifteen minutes_. The door finally opens and the eighteen year old Amity boy walks out. He glances at me with a large smile and I give slightly glare back.

"About time," I say as I stood up and walk into the room. There is a medical chair with padding and Dauntless member sitting by the machine. I'm not surprised that the administrator is Dauntless considering they have best experience with needles besides the Erudites. He seems to be prepping for the needle with the serum. It is a light blue color, a few shades lighter than the typical Erudite blue. He glances at me and motions for me to sit onto the chair, which I do begrudgingly. After I settle into the chair comfortably, he reads through the sheet with my information. He then turns towards my direction.

"So, Nikki...Casteel?" he asks, looking back at the paper. After my affirmative response, he stands up and walks to the other side of the machine, making sure it is connected correctly. He types a few buttons into the screen before continuing speaking.

"My name's Amar. I'll be monitoring your test."

He makes his way over to me brushed my hair to the side so he could inject the serum. "Good luck" were the last words I heard before losing touch with reality and entering the simulation.

* * *

When I open my eyes, I'm standing in an endless white room. Two bowls sit in front of me: one with a knife and one with a piece of cheese. A voice with no origin orders me to pick one. My eyebrows furrow before I walk to the bowl with the knife, picking it up. As soon as I moved it away from the bowl, they both disappear, and a snarling resounds behind me. Spinning around, I see a big wolf. It's baring its teeth, giving me the perfect view of its sharp fangs. I swallow to mask my apprehension and look blankly at it. Wolves don't frighten me, but I know I can only overcome it if I am careful. I walk towards it deliberately and slowly, hiding the knife behind me and locking my emotions away. When it can't detect any fear, it sits down and whimpers submissively. Breathing a small sigh, I walk closer and kneel by its side. It's fur is warm as I lightly run my hand over it.

A new sound echoes jarringly in front of me. The girlish giggle causes the wolf to start growling. It raises to its feet and turns its now bared snout towards me. Instinctively, I grip the fur at its nape and swing the blade its throat. Red drips to the white floor as it slumps to the ground. As I begin to rise to my feet the white walls melt as the entire scenery changes. I am now on the train that connects the Candor compound to the school. As I move through the cars, I watch the people sitting on the seats. While most people act like they would normally, I spot one figure that looks out of place, and I can't help but feel like he doesn't belong. I shake my head and continue into the next car and proceed to wonder what the point of this is. However, my pondering is interrupted by a man who confronts me when I walk by him. He asks if I had seen a man on the poster he holds up. His voice was rough and his tone rude and urgent. My mind immediately returns to the man in the previous car. He fits the descriptive picture, but something seemed to warn me against saying the truth. Nonetheless, I reply affirmatively.

"Yes, I've seen him."

"Where?"

"He was somewhere in the car before this one," I say honestly.

I watch as the man hurriedly walks away. I can't help but wonder what the rush is for, but their problems are not mine. I turn around to begin my journey through the cars when I feel a steel grip on my shoulder. The fingers digging into my skin roughly swing me around. Standing in front of me is the suspicious man from the poster. He releases his hold on my shoulder only to grab onto both of my arms. He starts shaking me. Small strands of spit fly from his mouth as he starts yelling at me.

"Why did you tell him where I was? He's going to kill me," the man screams.

"That's seem like your problem. If that's the case, I would start running if I were you," I say while glaring. I proceeded to shove him away.

He stumbles but quickly regains his balance. The man approaches me again, fists clenched. He reaches out with one hand, presumably to grab me once more, and I flick the knife I didn't know I still had at the offending appendage, nicking his wrist. He yelps and steps back, clutching his wrist to his chest. Suddenly, the shapes and faces surrounding of me blend together and fade to black.

I jerk back to reality, opening my eyes only to shut them for another second. I lie there waiting to see shapes instead of blurs. After the disorienting vision disappears, I sit up slowly, fully aware of my body's sluggishness. I turn to face Amar, and he just stares back at me. I narrow my eyes slightly and wonder why he hasn't already told me my result. From what I've heard, they want to get this process over as quickly as possible, but he just sits there, staring at me with a clenched jaw. _He's debating whether or not to tell me something_ , I think as I finally determine his unsettled state. One of the greatest benefits of growing up in Candor is the ability to identify and interpret most of people's movements.

"What is it?" I ask calmly but cautiously. I try to keep my face as blank as possible. It is in the following moment of silence that I realize how queasy my stomach feels. I try not to grimace as I feel it gurgle and bubble. I should have expected that the Aptitude serum would have affected me like this; the truth serum at Candor did not work and instead made me feel very sick and actually gave me a nosebleed. Bringing my focus back to the issue at hand, I ask the question I've been wondering since I came back from the simulation.

"What were my results?"

"They were inconclusive," he says, swallowing and shifting nervously. "You tested Dauntless but also Candor. It makes you...Divergent." Based on my frown, he elaborates. "It's a person who doesn't fit into the system, someone who tested positive for more than one factions. Divergents are considered a threat and are to be...eradicated."

At his last word, I shoot away from him and get into a defense position, ignoring the violent lurch of my stomach. I try to calculate my chances of beating him in a fight, and the outcomes aren't in my favor. My one advantage would be the small pocket knife I always carry around with me. I had bought it off a Dauntless-born from school a few years ago. I reach into my pocket and finger it lightly, ready to pull it out and defend myself in a second. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. After taking a deep breath, he relaxes and looks back at me.

"Look," he starts, "I'm not going to hurt you. I know you probably don't believe that but look at me and tell me if I'm lying. I can help you with this. I'll just enter in Dauntless at the tested faction, as that is what you act like most."

"Why are you helping me?" I ask. I didn't trust him, but I knew he wasn't lying.

"Because," he sighs, "I'm Divergent as well."

* * *

I have to wait another thirty minutes for the train to arrive. Once I get on, I walk to a secluded seat and sit down. I bend over and rest my face in my hands, my elbows on my knees. I groan quietly, from both the stress of the Aptitude test and the abuse on my stomach from the serum. After a few minutes, I straighten up, lean back, and close my eyes. I rest until the electronic voice announces our arrival at the Candor compound. I walk to the compound and to my apartment, barely making it to my bed before I collapse upon the black and white sheets.

The next day, I instantly regret my poor sleeping position; my back and neck are as stiff as the Abnegations act. I crack them, hearing a series of pops before I change into a different black and white outfit. It consists of practical black and white laced shoes, black pants, a black shirt, and a white blazer. Today is the Choosing Ceremony, so nicer clothes are warranted. As I stare into the bathroom mirror I realize that a part of me will miss the simplicity of white, but at least I'll be able to keep the black. I step back and glance around my room for the last time. This was my home, my sanctuary, for five years. I had lived here ever since… that day. Of course, I was almost always supervised, but it was a place to get away from the outspoken and brash Candors. I get to the door and glance back once more, wondering how Dauntless compound would compare.

Even the seriousness of today can't stop my hate of riding the public train. It's constantly filled with too many people for my liking. The Erudites are always blabbering about some new invention, and the Candor are spouting whatever is in their heads, which generally is off nothing interesting. The Abnegation just sits quietly, never hesitating to give up their seats for someone else. The Dauntless and the Amity are absent only because of they have their own modes of transportation. The Dauntless generally take another train while the Amity take the trucks. I wouldn't mind seeing a few more of the black and red clad members, but the happy-go-lucky farmers could stay in their fields.

When we finally reach our intended destination, everyone rushes off- Abnegation waits for everyone else to go first- and stands in front of their assigned door. As I walk towards the other Candors, I notice the missing rowdiness that accompanies the Dauntless. However, the silence is quickly remedies as the sounds of train wheels and yells signify their arrival. Once the Dauntless are finally in order, the Hub door's open. They direct us to the designated seating areas, and the Choosing Ceremony begins.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own anything in Divergent except for Nikki and the plot. Hope you enjoy this chapter! I made a few tweaks but nothing is majorly different.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

I can't help but feel slightly anxious; everyone else's emotions are getting to me. I analyze some of the faces around the room and see a mixed array of nervousness, fear, pride, sadness, and boredom. The most relaxed and rowdy group is obviously Dauntless, who only quiet down when Jack Kang, the Candor representative, starts talking. He begins with describing the factions, their meanings, and utter the one line that everyone stands by: "faction before blood." Everyone repeats the motto before he start calling names in. I watch as teenager after teenager chooses their fate. I am almost unprepared when he calls my name.

"Nikki Casteel!"

I rise from my seat and walk towards the center, putting off an air of confidence. Ignoring the many pairs of eyes focusing on me, I grab the knife and cut my palm, watching intently as the steady stream of blood painstakingly slides down my hand. My eyes follow the first drops of red to fall, my ears easily picking up on as the sizzle as they land on the hot coals. In a second of doubt my eyes flicker to my now ex-faction representative to judge his reaction. He discreetly raises an unsurprised eyebrow before loudly announcing my chosen faction.

"Dauntless!"

The Dauntless section yells as I walk over to the mass of black and red. One of them surprises me by offering up his seat, but I decline and instead opt to lean against the wall. As I watch more and more eighteen year olds pick a faction, I rub my thumb over the bandage in a soothing pattern. The cut stings, but I distract myself by analyzing the people participating in the Choosing Ceremony. One person's name in particular catches my attention, narrowing my focus onto the new person standing up. _Tobias Eaton, the son of Marcus Eaton, the Abnegation leader?_ He walks up with his baggy, plain, gray clothes and takes the knife. As he cuts his palm, I carefully watch his body language. He portrays many signs of nervousness and apprehension but nevertheless holds a pose of purpose. I wonder if he's going to transfer, my bets on Amity or Candor. My eyes widen, however, when he thrusts his hand over the same bowl that my blood landed in.

I breathe out in a breathy laugh of disbelief and bow my head. It was rare for an Abnegation to transfer, and even rarer for that transferation to be to Dauntless. And to top it off, he was the Abnegation representative's son. With that thought, I jerk my head towards Marcus Eaton, who is sitting rigidly. His face is pinched with thinly veiled anger and fury. _He considers his son a traitor, so he obviously didn't know about Tobias' decision beforehand. But why didn't he know?_ The entire situation intrigues me, but I'll have to save my wonderings for another time.

The Choosing Ceremony drains on and more names are called. Dauntless gains some more transfers, mostly from Candors and Erudites but two from Amity. Jack finally concludes the process with a few parting words of wisdom. After he finishes speaking, we are ushered out of the building. The Dauntless up front break into a sprint at the first hints of outdoor light. I follow, matching their pace, as they run into the middle of the street. When we reach the train tracks, they begin scaling the supporting steel structure, showing no hesitation. After quickly realizing that my blazer will inhibit ability to climb, I shed it and letting the white fabric futter to the ground. Then, I begin hauling myself up, first finding it difficult but then grasping the hang of it.

Climbing over the small ledge at the top, I watch the Dauntless-born for my next move. They all step off the tracks and start running on the metal that runs parallel to them. I follow their lead and start sprinting. I end up running next to a boy in blue clothing, an Erudite transfer. The squealing of electricity and metal on metal alerts me to the trains rapid incoming. The train begins to pass us and the doors open up, allowing people to jump and swing themselves in. I slow down a fraction to let the Erudite transfer go first, before grabbing the bar myself. When I swing myself in, I overshoot and accidentally knock into him.

"Sorry," I say before sticking my hand out to him. "Nikki."

The Erudite transfer has dark blonde hair and blue eyes. He raises an eyebrow to which I mirror. He finally grasps my hand and gives it a firm shake.

"My name's Eric," he replies. I give a single nod before scooting to the sit the wall of the train. It's nothing like the one that the Candors take; it resembles a freight car with its plain metal interior. I quickly look around the car, trying to see if I can spot any familiar faces. Most of my car is filled with Dauntless though are a few Erudite and Candor transfers. There is an absence of gray and yellow clothing, so I assume that the Amity transfers and Tobias are in another car or they didn't get on. After finding nothing of interest, I close my eyes and listen to the wind as the train speeds ahead.

* * *

It's only fifteen minutes later when the whoops and howls of excitement start back up again. My eyes spring open, and I push myself to my feet. I hold onto the inside of the car stick my body out slightly to look ahead. I watch as people starting jumping off the train and landing onto the upcoming the roof. I shift my gaze downwards and frown. _If we don't make it, we die,_ I think. I inhale sharply and turn to walk away from the open door. I almost bump into Eric, who looks at me.

"They're jumping off?" he questions.

I nod my head and walk to the other side. His eyes follow me until he realizes what I am about to do. He mimics my movements and joins my side. As our car reaches the middle of the building, I run to the door and jump. My feet make contact with the roof but my balance is thrown off from the momentum, and I tumble. I crinkle my nose when I feel a stinging sensation on my left forearm. I glance at it and see that some of the rubble is imbedded and a thin sliver of blood falls down my wrist. I wipe it off on my shirt and inspect the people around me, curious as to who made it. I spot both Eric and Tobias, whose clothing blends in with the building's gray flooring, to the left of me. Returning my gaze forward, I see everyone gathering by yet another ledge. I can't see anything after the roof ends except for a steep drop into shadows. A few Dauntless member stand on or by the ledge.

"Listen up!" a man with dark skin yells. "My name is Max. I am one of the leaders of your new faction. Several stories below us is the entrance to our compound. If you can't muster up the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

"What's at the bottom?" an Erudite girl asks. She's looking hesitantly at the ledge, undoubtedly wondering if the drop could be fatal.

"Why? Are you not brave enough to jump without knowing?" Max retaliates, glaring at her general direction.

She gulps and shuffles back. The initiates begin to mutter amongst themselves, no one eager to leap off the building. Some shift their eyes between Max and the ledge, while others avoid looking at either. I swallow and berate myself for feeling the same. I try scanning Max's face for any indication of trickery. I don't find any, but that fact doesn't assuage my doubtfulness. Finally, a Dauntless-born sucks up the courage to walk to the ledge. He steps up and stares down into the black abyss. The entire crowd of initiates is staring at him anxiously, wondering if he'll actually jump and survive. I wonder if he regrets his decision. He takes a deep breath and jumps off. His yells echo as he falls, until they stop abruptly.

Max looks away from the drop and back to us. He raises an eyebrow and scans our faces.

"Who's next?"

* * *

When I jump, Eric and Tobias are still on the roof. I don't scream, but my blood is pounding in my ears. I land on a rough net and am pulled off by another Dauntless member. Now standing by the net, I look at the woman who helped me off.

"You have the choice to keep or change it, but if you change it, makes sure its good," she asks.

I don't want to change my name; it is the last connection I have with my parents. I tell her, and she announces it to the crowd before turning back to the net. The falling person lands with a grunt and rolls to the edge. He swats away the hand that tries to help him, and I roll my eyes. I turn towards Eric, and he catches my eye before looking at the man talking to him. I face forward again as he shouts out Eric's name. He walks towards me and stops by my side without making a sound. Side-by-side, we watch as more and more people fall unto the net. I notice that Tobias looks shaken and pale even after he's steadied on his feet, and I wonder if he has a fear of heights. Soon enough, the last initiate falls into the net. The initiates amass and wait for directions.

A man walks up to the front of the group and faces us. He clears his throat to get everyone's attention. Upon looking at him and hearing his voice, I realize that it's Amar, my Aptitude Test administrator. My breath gets caught in my throat, and I tense. He separates the Dauntless-born from the transfers, and they leave with a different Dauntless member. We begin to follow Amar as he moves away from the entrance and deeper into the Dauntless compound. As we walk, he explains that there will be two stages of initiation and that while we train separately for the first stage but we will be combine for Stage Two. Regardless of which stage, though, we will be ranked together. I notice Eric's eyebrows furrow when he says this.

"Ranked?" he questions.

Amar looks over his shoulder and explains; "Yes. By the end of initiation, only the top ten initiates will be made members. The lowest rankings will be cut after Stages One and Two. Considering there are ten transfers and twelve Dauntless-born, seven will be cut after Stage One and the rest afterwards."

A few people stop and stumble, shocked by his words. I can't help myself and my mouth opens. I knew it would be difficult, but I didn't realize how against the odds it was. I clench my jaw and steel my face. I keep a mask of indifference and confidence as we continue moving forward. The faces of others show that they are still processing that fact that they have a high chance of becoming factionless. We walk in silence until faint tendrils of loud music reach us. Amar leads us in the direction of music until stopping us in the opening of an enormous cavern. My eyes travel up the sides of the walls, which made are of uneven rock and reach several stories into the upwards where it connects with the glass roof. Bringing my eyes back downwards, I see that the cavern is littered with people in black clothing. It feels chaotic and dangerous but lively and free.

"This is called the Pit. It is a center for life here at Dauntless, and you will no doubt grow to love it," Amar states before leading us even farther in. He walks through the halls, making twists and turns, till he reaches a walkway with railing on only one side. It bridges across a steep drop with rushing water at the bottom.

"This is the Chasm," he tells us, his voice bouncing off the walls. "Falling off means death. It's happened before and I guarantee that it will happen again. The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy."

After showing us the Chasm, we continue walking for a few minutes. We eventually reach a descending staircase, which leads to another door. Amar stops again and pushes open the door to a room with beds. He walks in and explains our co-ed sleeping and bathroom arrangements. I stare at the dirty rooms with hidden contempt. I am not self-conscious but being surrounded by people twenty-four/seven with no privacy is not something I look forward to. He leads us back to the bed section, and I walk over to a bed near the opposite wall and sit down, claiming it. I notice that Tobias takes the one opposite of me and Eric settles on the one to my left. Amar throws a two bags of clothes into the room.

"One is for the women, the other for the men. Find your size and get changed. Another member will come around in ten minutes and will lead you to dinner."


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Divergent, just Nikki, my OCs, and the plot. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

True to his word, another member enters the room and tells us to follow him but to grab our old clothes. He leads us to a fire pit and tells us to toss them in. With my knife safely hidden under my mattress, I throw my clothes in with no hesitation. He then leads us down another hall.

Eventually, we walk into a room full of people, all talking loudly and roughing around. It's almost as lively as the Pit was. Our guide seems to have disappeared so we hesitantly go to get food and sit down. I find a few open seats and sit down there, not caring about who sits next to me. A presence appears next to me and sits down. I eye him out of the corner of my eye before turning my head to address him.

"Tobias, right?" I ask, though I already know. He nods as confirmation, and the silence falls back over us. It's not awkward, though, and we are both absolutely fine with it. Unfortunately for us, though, it doesn't last long as four new bodies decide to sit across from us. They consist of two girls and two guys. They are obviously Dauntless-born due to their looks and carefree natures. The boy breaks from their conversation and turns towards us with a smile.

"So…" he draws out. "How ya liking Dauntless so far? Name's Ezekiel but call me Zeke." He motions to the two girls and guy beside him and says, "This is Shauna, Lauren, and Alex."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Tobias."

"Nikki," is all I say before turning back to my food. Zeke keeps looking at me and raises an eyebrow with a sloppy smile.

"Never met a Candor who could shut up or keep to themselves." When I don't respond. he continues. "You don't talk very much do you, do you?"

"I do when there is something worth conversing about, which there currently isn't," I reply with a touch of sass.

"Ooh, a Candor with some edge," he says, smiling largely.

He doesn't seem off put by my attitude at all, and I just blink at him for a few seconds. His smile just grows before he goes back to talking with his friends. He doesn't seem off put by my attitude at all, and I just blink at him for a few seconds. His smile just grows before he goes back to talking with his friends. I continue to eat my food in silence. Once I finish, I stand up and wonder if we could return back to our rooms. I spot Eric sitting with a few Dauntless-borns and initiates, so I head in their direction and sit down next to him. He look at me in mild surprise while some of the others look at me strangely- probably wondering who I was- but I ignore them.

"When can we leave and go back to the room?" I asked flatly.

He rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to answer, but we are interrupted by someone telling everyone to be quiet. It takes me a moment to spot where the voice is coming from, but I finally spot a group of people standing near the railing on the platform above the cafeteria. Max, who's leaning against the railing, nods to the person who shouted and proceeds to give a speech.

"You have joined the warrior faction, tasked with the defense of this city and all its inhabitants. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery and the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that. Do us proud."

I watch him speak, digesting his words. It's still slightly difficult for me to accept the fact that I don't belong to Candor, my faction for eighteen years. Shouts erupt around the cafeteria after he finishes, and some people start crowd surfing. I shake my head at their childish behavior and opt to remain sitting. Eventually, the excitement simmers down, and everyone resumes eating. I snap out of my haze when Eric elbows me lightly. He has one eyebrow raised, which I swear is his signature move. I slightly glare at him before sighing and listening in on the conversation taking place. It's obvious that my question was either deliberately ignored or forgotten, so I'm forced to stay here for the time being. One of the Dauntless-borns is bragging about how much better prepared they are compared to the transfers. He pisses me off more when he comments that the female transfers aren't going to last, so the male transfers better take advantage of the co-ed dorms. While I would contend that I don't like females much more than I do anyone else, his behavior is plain disgusting. I give him a death glare, but he just smirks in my direction. I was never one for keeping quiet, being in Candor an all, and I let him know my opinion.

"But won't it be absolutely hilarious when a female transfer ranks higher than you, or better yet, gets in while you become Factionless?"

He was in the middle of laughing at a joke, when everyone goes silent and looks at me. There is a sardonic gleam in my eyes and a sarcastic quirk to my mouth. He checks me over and gives a sick smile. He tilts his head, and I just hope that he doesn't think that it's attractive because it isn't.

"Sweetie, we can all hope and dream, but that's not going to happen. What chance does an innocence Candor have against me? But you can prove me wrong if you want. How about you meet me in the training room tomorrow night, and I can help you… get into shape?"

The sexual innuendo is obvious, and my whole body tenses. I stand up and place my clenched fists on the table, their impact making a few metal cups rattle.

Leaning towards him a little, I reply honestly, "If I wanted to roll around with a pig, I would've joined Amity."

The attention of everyone sitting at this table and even some of the surrounding ones is now engrossed in our dispute. They stare at me, as I shove away from the table and walk away. I catch Tobias' eye as I walk out, and he gives me a small twitch of his lips. I shake my head as I push through the cafeteria doors. People like him piss me off to no extent. I steel myself and try to retrace the path to the Pit. It wasn't actually that hard to find, being only a few turns away, but I can't remember the way back to the dorm. _Dammit!_ I proceed to lie down on one of the gray blocks that serve as benches. I close my eyes and relax my tense muscles. The loud thumping of the music is actually calming, providing constant and rhythmic background sound.

"You lost initiate?" a voice off to my right asks, jarring me out of my reverie.

My eyes spring up, and I quickly sit up and face the person. It's Amar, smirking at my off-guard position. I look down and rub my neck with a faint blush appearing on my cheeks. He laughs at my embarrassment and sheepishness, which quickly reverts to annoyance. When he catches sight of my face, he stops laughing but his face still holds a smile.

"Let me guess you got lost?" he asks with a joking tone. My glare confirms his theory, and his smile widens a smidge. "Come on. I'll show you the way back. Best not to mention this to the others or else they might claim favoritism," he chuckles while I remain silent. We begin to walk down another hall, which looks somewhat familiar. "You know, I'm quite impressed by what you said to Xavier. Or I guess, X, now that he changed his name. But hey, I guess Candors never lie, right?"

This makes me crack a small smile. _A Dauntless with a funny sense of humor, what a rarity it seems._ The rest of the trip, though, is traversed in silence but not an awkward one. We get to the dorm and he opens to the door. It is empty, contrarily so to what I would've thought. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, and he nods his head.

"I wouldn't suspect that many initiates will be back this early. They're probably still in the cafeteria or exploring and getting in trouble. I would take advantage of this time, though. From now on, you will have virtually no time to yourself, except for the rare occasions when miraculously arrive earlier than the rest. Anyways, you guys are in for a rough day tomorrow, so see you bright and early."

I nod at him and him a quiet thanks before going and grabbing the few personal hygiene products that were supplied. He leaves after I thank him, and the door shuts heavily behind him, emphasizing the silence that now surrounds me. In the privacy of the room, I give a small sight of relieve that I arrived before anyone else. I quickly finish with my cleansing routine and fall onto my bed. Eventually, more transfers trickle in but they generally ignore me, though some shoot quick glances at my slumped form. I can't avoid Eric or Tobias, however. Both look at me as they near their beds. Tobias gives a tiny smile and nod to let me know that if he did care about the situation, he approved of my method of handling it.

Eric, on the other hand, sneers at me, and I return it before settling on my back and closing my eyes. I give him a mocking cheerful smile back before letting out a quiet laugh. I close my eyes and lay back fully onto the bed. I run through the day in my mind, processing everything that's happened: I transferred to Dauntless; Tobias Eaton transferred as well; I jumped into a train and jumped out of it; I jumped off a building; Amar is my instructor; and I pissed someone, but possibly more, off. Overall, not a bad day in my opinion.


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing by the plot and my OCs. Sorry for not updating so often; finals were exhausting and time-consuming. Also, I hope I am not making Amar too OOC, but tbh I really have no idea what his personality is actually like. I always imagine him as a carefree guy most of the time but still someone you don't want to piss off. Anyways, feedback is really appreciated.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

Amar does wake us up early the next day, but I am already awake. I realize that if I wanted any chance of a shower or any privacy that I have to get up at unreasonable hours. He tells us all to get ready in the next fifteen minutes and be ready to follow him. I quickly slip on a bra under my sleep shirt before taking it off and replacing it with a tight short sleeve one. My pants are made from a similar tight black fabric. I notice some catcalls coming from the middle of the room where the three other female initiates are changing, one of them being the Amity girl. Sighing, I get up and walk over to them, quietly asking if they would like me to hold a sheet or towel up for them to change behind. The Amity accepts my offer; her face already flush from the unwanted attention. I grab a towel and hold it up, making a curtain.

Her cheeks stay red while she's changing. I frown, knowing that she will not last if she cannot even change in public. She taps my arm to signal me that she's done. I drop the towel on a random bed and turn to face her. She gulps as she meets my impassive stare.

"You have to get over them. If you can't even handle that, how are you supposed to survive the rest of initiation? This isn't Amity anymore; no one will hug you and tell lies that it's going to be okay," I state bluntly. She looks down for a second before looking back at me.

"Thank you," she says before trying to walk past me. I roll my head before lightly grabbing her arm.

"What's your name?"

"Alice."

"Let me give you a piece of advice: if you want to become Dauntless, actually act brave. Bravery isn't doing the things you are comfortable with unhesitatingly. Bravery and courage is standing up and doing things that you would never do in a million years. Should anyone piss you off, tell them off but be able to defend yourself."

Alice stares at me with slightly wide eyes before nodding and walking away. I watch as she heads towards the door, wondering how in the world she got Dauntless...unless she didn't. I mentally shrug it off and follow her path. Amar starts to lead us to the cafeteria after everyone is done changing.

* * *

After a quick breakfast, he leads us down an unfamiliar path to a door that opens up the roof of the compound. In front of us are a multitude of target. A table by the door holds at least a hundred ammo magazines and ten guns. Amar picks up one the guns and holds it in his right hand, pointing it up at the sky. With his other hand, he grabs a magazine and loads it into the gun. He then turns to address us.

"It is Dauntless' job to protect the factions, and this meanings guarding the fence and the factionless. While some of you may be thinking that this has nothing to do with bravery, well let's just say that it's easier to shoot straight when you're not pissing yourself."

With that, he faces one of the targets and raises the gun up. He aims for a second or two before pulling the trigger five times. I wasn't prepared for the explosive noise, having no experience with guns, only knives. I turn to see the target and am impressed to see that they are all within an inch of each other in the center circle. _Accurate and deadly._ Amar then tells us to pick up a gun and pick a target. I do so and end up being sandwiched between Alice and Tobias. I notice that Eric is on the other side of him.

Focusing on the target now, I aim the gun, getting used to the weight and figuring out a stance to try. I try having my legs even with each other, about shoulder width apart. Loading the gun and clicking a bullet into the chamber, I tense and pull the trigger. The gun nozzle lifts in the air a good few inches and my right leg steps back slightly. My eyebrows raise; I wasn't expecting that level of kickback. I glance at the target and see no trace of a bullet. I narrow my eyes and shift slightly before trying again. I end up having my left leg in from and my right leg bracing and lean forward a hair. I take a breathe in and pull the trigger again as I exhale. The gun jams into my shoulder due to the kickback, but the nozzle doesn't fly into the air. I search the target and see a bullet imprint in the middle ring.

I keep making small, micro adjustments until I get comfortable. After four hours of shooting, my aim has greatly improved. I am now consistently hitting either in the center ring or in the inner parts of the middle one. Both Tobias and Eric seem to be naturals, too, though they have more in the middle circle and less in the center.

Finally, Amar calls for us to stop and unload and put our guns back. He takes a quick scan at the targets, eying Eric's, Tobias', and mine critically before leadings us back into the compound.

* * *

After lunch, Amar leads us to a room with mats, punching bags, and an assortment of other strength-training machines. Amar motions at the punching bags, and I assume that he means for us to start working on them first. Coincidentally or not, I end up with Eric to my right and one of the two unknown females (she was an Erudite transfer if my memory proves correct) to my left. Soon, the sound of flesh hitting fabric fills the air.

I focus on the bag and my muscles to get my mind away from the pain coming from the bleeding, rare knuckles and elbows. I have knowing how to fight already, so at least I'm not breaking my knuckles or twisting my wrists. I cannot help, however, being slightly jealous of Eric's physique. His height and already muscular build will definitely give him the advantage in a fight. He is at least seven inches taller than my 5'6".

After two hours or so (I can't keep track of the time) of none stop hitting, we take a small water break. I take this time to stretch out my back and my arms. I abruptly stop stretching my arms over my head when I feel a presence behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Eric's tense posture. I turn around to be greeted by the a face that I unfortunately know.

"Damien. I didn't know that you joined Dauntless," I state honestly. I really should have paid more attention to the Dauntless transfers, especially since we all sleep together, I was genuinely, though unpleasantly, surprised to see him. Regardless, I kept my face passive.

"Nikki," he all but sneers at me. "You and I still have an argument to settle."

I smirk at him, knowing exactly what he's referencing. Damien is one of those pricks who thinks that they can pick on anyone they damn well please. I am not Amity in anyway and could care less about peace, but I will not stand innocent people being harmed. Just last year, I found him and another boy tormenting a nine year old Candor. Let's just say that he and my knife got acquainted when they didn't stop soon enough.

"If I remember correctly, we did settle it. It ended up with a cut on your forearm and you rolling on the ground like a wimp."

"Why, you lying bitc-" he starts to say angrily.

"I have never told a lie in my life," I interrupt. I tilt my head and say in a sickening innocent voice, "What does one get from twisting the truth? Everyone has the right to know that you are a cowardly prick."

As soon as the last syllable escapes my lips, he rushes forwards and grabs my shirt in one of his hand and tries to punch me with the other. I quickly duck under and to the side, ripping my shirt out of his hand. I quickly grab his arm and shove it around while kneeing him in the stomach. I then shove him away and back up myself. Amar seems to have finally noticed the tussle and decides to intervene.

"Both of you, knock it off! Hurting each other outside of the designated times and causing disturbances may earn you a loss of points. Do you really want to become factionless for something as stupid at that? Now grow up, and wait till tomorrow or on your own free time to settle this." He glances at both of us sternly before ordering us back to the bags. Neither Damien nor I move for a few seconds, our eyes locked and deadly. I only break the stare when I feel a harsh nudge on my shoulder. I look to see Eric passing by as his gives me a look, warning me to get my ass moving. I grit my teeth and move back to my punching bag. I release my anger with every strike till my emotional mask returns.


	5. Chapter 5

**You know the drill; if you see anything from the Divergence Series, I don't own it. Anything that looks new, I probably own. Sorry about not updating earlier; I was on vacation and forgot my laptop. Also, this is more of a filler chapter so it is slightly shorter than the others.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

The week follows a similar pattern, with us working with guns in the morning and physical training after lunch. It has become clear that Tobias, Eric, and me are the best at the guns. After the third day of shooting, I consistently hit the center circle and have even gotten a true bull's eye occasionally. Physical training is slightly different. I have not doubt that I am strong, but I am not as strong or as big as most of the men. Based on what Amar said, we will eventually be fighting each other, so I know that I will have to use my flexibility and speed more than my strength.

Tobias and I become closer, though we don't talk that much. More often than not, we partner up for some of the training drills. The more time I spend around him, the more I get the feeling that he is like me: a generally emotionless person whose mind is never stopping. _Lethal but quiet. The exact opposite of Eric,_ I think. If I don't partner with Tobias, it is either Alice or Eric. Alice is an open book, so I can't learn much from her, but Eric, on the other hand, is a complex person. He reminds me of Damien and Xavier at some times, but I doubt he is as cruel as them. I do not know whether or not to say if we have gotten closer or not.

At the start of next week, we begin training with knifes. The feel somewhat awkward and useless in my hand. I know how to fight with one but not throw it. Tobias, who is to my left, seems to be particularly skilled in this area. I take a moment to pause and look at him, studying his body position, the his grip, his speed. I clench my jaw slightly when the knife lands in circle by the head. _How does he and Amar make it look so damn easy. I can't get the knife to stick._ I try a few more times before finally getting it to stick. However, it is in the shoulder area even though I was aiming for the chest.

"God damnit," I curse under my breath.

Tobias, who apparently heard me, turn towards me as I throw another one. This one hits in the right area but doesn't stick.

"Try releasing the knife a little bit earlier. It is more of a flick by your ear rather than by your chin," he says as he demonstrates. I nod my head in understanding and try a few more knives. Though they didn't all hit quite right, it was better than how I was originally doing. I wonder offhandedly how Eric and Alice are doing. I try to watch them out of the corner of my eye; Eric seems to be doing fine, but Alice is struggling some. I can't help but sigh and wonder why the hell she chose Dauntless.

Without looking at him, I say, "Tobias? Do you mind helping Alice? We are being graded on this and she's failing. I'll owe you something if you do."

He glances over at her and debates for a few seconds before nodding and discreetly going over there. I smile slightly; he's too nice for this world. I concentrate on throwing my knives when I notice a person walking to the Tobias' old spot. I take a quick peek and see that it is Eric. _Hmm, I guess they must have switch. He doesn't look too happy about it though._ I notice that he's throwing the knives quite forcefully and decide to not approach him right now.

* * *

It is during lunch that I go to talk to him. I wouldn't say that we are friends, but we're not enemies. I quietly take my tray and sit next to him, trying to stay unnoticed by Damien and Xavier who are also at the table. He barely notices me and just keeps eating. I know it is kind of a dick move, but I take my cup of water and pour it onto his plate. His head angrily snaps towards me. I just look at my tray and prepare my hamburger.

"So, what's wrong with you Eric? You've been in a pissed off mood at least since you and Tobias switched spots during knives."

"What the fuck's it to you?" he rudely replies. I give a small half smirk and scoff.

"Well, asshole, you're one of the few people that I know here and don't hate. Having… acquaintances is a strong advantage here, so I am forced to care about your wellbeing."

He doesn't answer and tries to give no indication. However, he must've forgotten that I used to be Candor and can read facial and body expressions. His eyes had briefly flickered to Tobias' figure, who was sitting and talking to Zeke and his gang.

"Are you really that petty Eric? Never would have pegged you as the jealous type," I comment with an offhanded tone before eating my burger and drinking. He glances sharply at me before resuming eating as well. We spend most of lunch like that, not talking or looking at each other. It doesn't bother me, as I spend it thinking and observing people. As I am about to walk out of the cafeteria, Tobias signals me over. I close my eyes and internally groan before going to sit next to him.

"Silence! It's you!" Zeke says overenthusiastically. I simply arch and eyebrow in response.

"Aw. C'mon, no greeting to the awesome me."

I just shake my head; his behavior still baffles me. How can someone be that happy and optimistic?

"Why the fuck are you like that? How are you so happy?"

He smiles...well more of smirks and says, "It's part of my personal charm."

Alex nudges him and laughs. Shauna and Lauren, who are also there, are smiling and Shauna giggles as well. I shake my head and give a tiny smile. They seem so happy, so blissful. Though Tobias is much quieter than either of the four, I have a feeling that he will become very good friends with them. They don't seem like a half bad lot. At least, they're better than Damien or Xavier but a longshot.

We spend the rest of lunch talking. Well, it's more that Zeke talks and the others add their two-cents on some topics. Tobias and I mostly just listen. Amar soon tells us to get ready and get to the training area, so we have to part ways. One topic from the conversation, however, was stuck in my mind. Zeke was saying how he wanted to get a tattoo. I walk out of the cafeteria thinking and debating where and what I want my tattoo to be.

* * *

 **A.N. Zeke's personality is suppose to be very cheerful and bubbly. He kind of reminds me of Prussia from Hetalia.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own only my OCs blah blah blah. Basically the same as every other disclaimer. This one is a bit longer to make up for last chapter being short. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts! Also, is it bad that I upload most of this at 2:00 in the morning?**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

The afternoon starts the same as any other day so far: practicing with the punching bags and each other. I must say that the drills are becoming repetitive and boring. Alice and I (well, only really Alice; I just listen) talks to pass the time while we punch the bags. I've been keeping an eye on her and am pleased to see that she's strengthened, physically and mentally. I hate to admit it, but she's become closer to a friend than anyone else except Tobias. I've also been taking the time to assess and observe all the transfers and now know all their names.

Suddenly, Amar tells us to stop and to line up by the mats that are in the middle of the room. He points to the board with our names and rankings and tells us to take a long look. I notice that Tobias is ranked fifth out of everyone, Dauntless-born included, and that he is the highest out of all the transfers. Eric is nineth, I'm eleventh, but Alice is nineteenth. I overheard that Stage One only lasts four weeks, so we're almost halfway through it. If she doesn't improve her score quickly, she will be cut. Knowing how competitive and aggressive Eric is simply from observing him, I wonder how he will react to being second-best out of the initiates. I turn my head only to find him already glaring at Tobias, who is pretending to be oblivious.

"These are your scores as of now," Amar begins to speak. "We have simply been assessing you on performance during the shooting and knife throwing sessions as well during the physical training. But this," he gestures towards the mat, "is what will either make or break your rank. You will be fighting each other."

At this, everyone either frowns or let out small noises of indignation. I, myself, am only mildly surprised; I had already guessed from the fighting exercises that we've done that it would only be a matter of time before an actual match.

"The match ends when one is either unable to continue or yields. Obviously, your rank will be lowered if you lose. Yielding will likely lose you more points than being forced into unconsciousness. Alright then," Amar claps his hands together. "Let's start; Luke versus Eric."

As they walk up onto the mat, I vaguely wonder if they knew each other in Erudite. He has to be an ex-Erudite because only three other Candors transferred with me: Damien, David, and Ash. David and I have never spoken and I don't think that's about to change. Ash and I have a rocky relationship, but he doesn't antagonize me as much as Damien. I snap my attention back to the mat when Amar says to begin. Eric takes two seconds before taking a powerful swing at Luke. I shake my head, already knowing how this match will end. Eric is powerful, so unless you are Tobias or Damien, you have to hit first and be nimble. Luke blocks it with his arm, but the pain is written on his face. They continue to trade blows, with Eric having the upper hand for about three or four minutes, before Eric ends it by socking Luke in the jaw, effectively knocking him out for a few seconds and ending the match.

"Good job Eric," Amar states. "Now, Damien and Tobias."

This was an interesting fight. Damien is slightly taller than Tobias, albeit not by a lot. He looks to be more muscular but Tobias is not twig. I smirk slightly and look forward to the outcome. Tobias is smarter, faster, and more strategic. This match lasts longer than Luke and Eric's, but it was much more enjoyable. At least, to me it was. Who doesn't like watching the crap beat out of an asshole? Tobias, like Eric, dealt a nicely placed punch and knocked Damien out. As Tobias walks off the mat and past me, I see a small smile and return it with my own. Two other transfers have to drag Damien off the mat and place him on the side. He wakes up shortly afterwards, unfortunately.

The next pair is Marie and David. Unshockingly, David won. He had the weight, strength, and height advantage, though Marie did land a few hits because of her speed. I didn't pay that much attention to it, though, because I was having an internal battle. There was a thirty-three percent chance that I would be fighting Alice, who had yet to be called. She, Bri, and Ash remained. When they finished (Marie yielded), Amar cleared his throat to call the next people to the ring.

"Nikki and Ash."

I sigh in relief and move onto the mat. I get into my fighting position, with my arms slightly in front of me and my left leg in front. He steps into a similar one. We stare at each other with only a cold mask and wait for Amar to give the signal to start. We slowly circle each other, and I assess him quickly. _He has about five or six inches on me and more muscle. However, I have the speed, strategy, and flexibility. We both know how to read each other for weaknesses, but I have fighting experience. I'm also betting he's more of an offensive player rather than defensive._

True to my unspoken theory, he lunches at me with a right hook. I weave underneath it and roundhouse kick his stomach. I was using my forwards momentum to drive my leg, so my powerful kick makes Ash stumble. He continues to make jabs towards my face and my stomach, and I block or dodge most of them and return with my own hits and attempts. One of his punches gets through my defence and hits me in the ribs. My face scrunches up with pain slightly, but I remain silent. He tries another hook and gives me the perfect opportunity to perform the same move on him that I did on Damien. I tuck underneath it but grab it and twist it. As I am bringing it to his back, I sweep one of his legs, making him crash to the floor. I now have him in a shoulder lock and am sitting on his back. I continue to press his arm towards his head until Ash finally taps the ground in submission. I let up and step up off his back. While he's on his hands and knees, I stare at him emotionlessly before offering my hand. He brushes it away and stands up on his own. I narrow and scowl slightly at his back as he walks away. I follow his example and walk off the mat as well. I stand by Eric, and the fights continue.

Marie and David fight next, and it's not very pretty. Marie can't fight that well, which was made crystal clear by this fight. She's not scared like a frightened cat but simply cannot block or throw punches well. There's a fist thrown, and a loud crack it heard. Marie drops to the floor and lays on her back while holding her nose. It's obviously broken, and thick red streams can be seen dribbling down her chin and cheeks. She submitted and David won.

Lastly, the two people take their spots on the mat. It's Alice versus Bri. I haven't been able to study Bri that, but looking at her now, she seems to have better advantages. I am mildly surprised, however, when Alice holds her own for a few minutes. They attack like snacks, striking at opportune times and then backing away. _They're pretty evenly matched considering they're going on the twelfth minutes. Most of ours were from five to ten minutes max._

While observing them fight and taking note of their styles, I notice that Alice favors her right leg and kicks often. Bri, contrarily, prefers her left hand for punching. It seems that Bri also caught onto to Alice's weakness and grabs the leg when she goes to kick. Bri rushes forwards, causing Alice to fall backwards. She lands heavily on her back, likely getting the air knocked out of her. I, barely noticeably but nonetheless, wince and hold my breath. Eric sneaks the briefest of glances at me after I winced. My attention, however, never wavers from the fight. Bri had climbed on top and was aiming her fists towards Alice's face. There was blood over both of them, and more was coming from Alice's face. She put her hands up in surrender, nearly sobbing while saying that she gives up. Bri gets off, and I walk forwards to take her place next to Alice.

I crouch next to her and put and arm between her shoulder blades to help her up. She's covering her face with her hands, but I can see a mixture of blood, sweat, and tears covering her face. I lean closer to her and whisper.

"Get up. Don't let them see how weak you are right now. Take my hand, pull yourself up, and clean your face. If you can't do that, you don't belong in Dauntless and I will have wasted my time on you. Bravery is not standing up when you've won, but being able to do so even when you fail epically."

After I say this, she drops her hands and looks at me half in disbelief and half in admiration.

"Remember, I never lie."

I offer my hand, which she takes, and pulls us up. Once she's stable on her own feel, Alice walks away and goes to clean off her face. As I walk away from the mat and towards my own water, I catch Amar gaze. He gives a small smile, to which I nod my head. I wipe off the sweat from my forehead and take a drink. Amar explained to us after Alice and Bri's fight concluded that we wouldn't have to train after we fight and that we are allowed to go to the infirmary if need be. He also stated that we would be fighting every other day, excluding weekends. I lift up my shirt to see how much damage the punch to my ribs did. There's a nasty blue-yellow bruise already forming, but it luckily doesn't hurt that much if someone doesn't put pressure on it. I drop my shirt and look around for Eric or Tobias. I'm pretty sure that Alice already left for the infirmary to see if she broke her nose.

I spot Eric already at work at the pull up station. I raise my eyebrow and walk over there. He doesn't acknowledge me for at least a minute. He sighs and drops from the bar and turns to the side to face me. He raises an eyebrow; I do the same thing in response.

"What do you want?"

"You fought well against Luke. Your strategy was custom for both your and his heights and strength. The last punch was very powerful. However, as an observer, I noticed that you favor your right hand and don't seem to like to throw or kick as much as punch. I would work on that before the next fight."

At his slightly angry eyes and slack jaw, I smirk.

"But I have to watch out if we ever fight. You're quite a powerful opponent. What I would give to see you and Tobias fight," and with that I walk away. It was a random one-sided conversation, but I know he'll thank me later. I have my theories that he wants a high position in Dauntless and needs to be one of the best ranked initiate. In order to do that, he has to get better at fighting. Eric likely never be as good as Tobias, no one seems to be, but Damien could easily take him on if he wasn't being careful.

I put these thoughts away and walk around the stores. I stop and look at the piercing and tattoo ones for a moment. I make a 'hmmm' sound before turning and walking into the tattoo shop with the smallest of smiles on my face.


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own anything from the Divergent Series. Sorry for not updating this sooner, but I hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

The shop is darkly lit and has heavy EDM music playing throughout it. A buzzing sound mixes in with the music as there are a few other people in the shop. Someone comes over to see if I need help, but I decline and look towards a couple of the pictures on the wall. A few designs catch my eye, but I am thinking of getting an original piece as well. One is a clock with intricate numerals, and the other is a tribal band with interlacing lines. I continue to stare at the wall, thinking very deeply about the meanings of tattoos. I want mine to mean something, either a part of my past, present, or future. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the Candor symbol. _I am Candor but I am also Dauntless. They aren't so different from each other are they? One must be brave to always speak the truth. Beyond fear and deception is freedom._ I inhale sharply and look up after I think that. I give a smile and walk back to the front desk.

"Excuse me, I would like to get a tattoo."

I stick out my right forearm and describe that I would like the words to go from my wrist to my elbow. We discuss the price and I give him the credits (money). I vaguely remember Amar stating that our credits would be replenished after Stage One if we made it through. So far I've only used it to by three extra workout clothing. I have no use for any other type of clothing right now; I don't go to any of the 'parties' or whatever the hell they are like some of the other initiates. Eric and Damien, on the other hand, have been several to my knowledge.

The man leads me to a station and calls over a tattoo artist. He introduces himself as Jay and we shake hands. I repeat what I want to him and he nods. Jay tells me to sit on the bed and to put my arm on the small table next to it. He preps the tattooing gun and puts antiseptic on my arm. He tells me to relax the arm, which takes me a few seconds to do. I'm not scared of needles or the pain, but I can't help but feel slightly anxious. The buzzing of the gun alerts me that he's about to start. My mouth quirks up when he begins, unused to the feeling. Jay tattoos my arm in a methodical rhythm of actually tattooing and cleaning it.

Jay is a great tattoo artist. He keeps making conversations to keep me occupied while still devoting his attention to not messing up. His handwriting is really nice, which is great for me. Four minutes into the process, I hear someone being led to the station next to me. I take a small glance before fully turning my head. Eric sits down and begins to take off his shirt. He points to a place on his chest. I can't help but wonder what he's getting.

"Eric?"

He turns his head to the side and meets my gaze. He masks his shock quickly and raises an eyebrow instead. We continue to look at each other until Eric's artist returns and makes a few confirmations. I turn back to Jay, who's looking at me with a small smile. He had stopped working when I had called out but continues after I turned back.

"Fellow initiate?"

"Yes."

"You two friends?"

"No," I say. I think for a minute before continuing. "But he's certainly not an enemy or a stranger. He's in between neutral and friend. I can't remember the term-"

"Acquaintance?" Jay supplies helpfully.

"Exactly."

I think acquaintance is the perfect term to describe Eric. He's an asshole, cold, and has unreasonable grudges, but he hasn't done anything worthy of being an enemy. He tried to warn me not to fight Damien. Sometimes he acts more like a distant friend, others like he doesn't know me.

We sit in silence for the few minutes left. I don't feel uncomfortable with the silence between Jay and me, but rather with the silence with Eric. I feel like I can feel his stare on my shoulder, but I don't look over at him. I get snapped out of my reverie when I notice the buzzing of the tattoo gun has stopped. Jay is now applying the ointment on my skin. I look at my complete tattoo and smile. _It's perfect, a combination of my past and future._ I stand up and thank him.

"Come back any time, Nikki."

I nod as a response and begin walking towards the entrance. As I walk by Eric's station, I give a slight glance. He's lying on his back with the tattoo artist sitting in a chair next to the bed. From my angle, I can't tell what his tattoo is. His eyes seem to flash from the ceiling to mine in a millisecond. I just put on a blank face before walking out the door. I go to the railing and look over it; the Chasm's rapid water is barely visible. I breath in and out slowly, enjoying the sense of harmony. Behind me is loud, aggressive music and in front is a soft, purring, and natural sound. As I lean on the rail, I think about Eric.

 _I want to get to know him better. He's a complex person, just like Tobias,_ I think. _He could be a beneficial ally, and dare I say, friend if I could figure him out. I can read his body language, but his mind keeps more than it releases._ Making up my mind, I push off the rail and go to lean of the wall next to the tattoo shop instead. I've decided to wait for him and try to instigate a conversation as we walk back. I wait for another ten minutes before Eric walks out he door. Unsurprisingly, he has his shirt back on, with covers his new tattoo. He doesn't seem to notice me and is about to turn the other way, when I call out to him.

"I shouldn't be surprised that you got a tattoo. You strike me as the person to get a whole bunch of tattoos, maybe a few piercings too. You've already cut your hair."

He whips his head to look at me as I get off the wall and out of the shadows. Knowing he's curious about my tattoo, I cross my arms behind my back, successfully hiding the tattoo. I walk till I'm about four feet from him. I tilt my head and give a borderline sarcastic smile at him. Eric looks down at me before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I didn't imagine you'd get one. What? The good-girl facade wearing you down? Wanted to be a rebel?"

I laugh at his response and even he cracks a tiny smile. This was just nice teasing. I begin to walk around him and he follows.

"Since when was I a 'good girl'? So far, I've stood up to two a-holes and beat one of their asses."

His smile grows into a smirk at my words. Eric may sometimes act like Xavier or Damien, but he certainly doesn't like them. However, he doesn't say anything else. I mentally shrug and continue walking with him. As we near the Pit, I spot a bar. It looks rowdy and crazed, but the allure of alcohol is what gets me. I've had it before; I even used it to drown out my sorrows after the accident left me scarred. I nudge him in the arm and he looks at me annoyed.

"What time is it currently?" I ask.

"How the hell should I know?" He says cockily.

I roll my eyes and scowl. "Don't be a dick. Look, I'm going to get a drink. Want to come or not?"

He looks at me blankly before nodding and following me to the entrance.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own any canon-Divergent characters or plot lines. The new characters and plot lines, I did make. Feel free to comment on your thoughts, theories, or anything. Thanks and enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

The second we walk into the room, we're hit by an array of smells, sounds, and sights. The air's thick with smoke, sweat, perfume, and alcohol. The music is even louder inside, and heavy beat drops vibrate the floors. The clinking of shot glasses and bottles can barely be heard. The lights are dimmed, but still illuminate the dancing bodies near the back. _It's more of a club than I bar,_ I think. We have some trouble getting to the bar on the side but eventually manage to muscle our way through. By some luck, we manage to find spots actually in front. I study their alcohols and smile at their fully-stocked selection. I wave one of the bartender over so we can order.

"Whiskey sour, straight up, and with an extra shot of bourbon on the side. He-" I gesture to the side at Eric, "-will have a kamikaze, lime wedge. Put it under my name, Nikki Casteel."

The bartender nods and goes to mix our drinks, and I turn to Eric. He raises an eyebrow and I scoff some.

"You don't look like a lightweight or someone who'd appreciate the 'easy, herbal' stuff. Beer or vodka are what I would expect you would like," I say.

"How do you know so much about this stuff? I mean, I've been to parties here already so I've had my experience with alcohol here, but I've never seen you there before."

I smile, albeit it was more of a tight smirk. "You'll have to get me drunk if you want those answers."

Luckily, our drinks come after that stall in our conversation, saving us from the awkwardness. I take a sip, testing it out, letting out a hum of approval. I turn to lean my body against the bar and look at Eric, gauging his reaction. He takes a sip and nods before continuing. I give a real smirk this time before downing my glass. Though I may not have been to as many 'parties' as him, I have a decent alcohol tolerance. He finishes his drink soon enough, taking large gulps but chugging it like me. I'm feeling a little daring but due to the atmosphere and not the alcohol. I wave the same bartender over and ask him for ten shots of vodka. When they arrive, I separate them into two piles, scooting one group of five over to Eric. He just looks at me confused.

"Okay. So we're going to play a little game; that alright with you?" I ask, not really giving him a chance to answer though. "We ask each other questions and we have two options: answer truthfully or take a shot. Don't think about lying to me 'cuz I used to be Candor in case you forgot."

Giving me a sly sort of smirk, Eric asks, "And why would I do this?"

I just shrug and say, "What do you have to lose? I want to know more about you and even if you take the shots, there's the possibility of seeing you drunk, which would be hilarious. The same things goes for you and knowing about me or seeing me drunk. At least do it for the fact that we're Dauntless."

"Fine. I go first though," Eric complies. "What's your tattoo of?"

I hold out my arm and show him the words that now flow up my forearm. I try to gauge his reaction but the dim lights make it hard. He stares at it for another thirty seconds before nodding his head towards me, indicating that it's my turn.

"Well, since you made me reveal my tattoo, I'll ask you the same. Show me your ink."

I must admit that I'm very curious about it. I can imagine a guy like Eric getting several tattoos, but I can only guess what the first one would be. I snap away from my pondering and glue my eyes to Eric's frame as he pulls down the collar of his shirt. I nod my head in approval at the sight of a Dauntless symbol on his chest. Unlike the normal black ones that one normally sees, Eric's is unique. It had a very dark black center but slowly warms up to a light golden-yellow on the edges, mimicking the coals and fire.

"I must say, I never pegged you as a creative person. Whenever I go to get another tattoo I'll have a difficult time on who to request. It's pretty nice. Now, what's your next question?" I say.

* * *

We end up asking each other questions for the next hour and a half. During those ninety minutes, I've taken all five of my shots and Eric's taken three. We had to order some additional shots for me, though; even when I drink, I'm not a very open person. I find it hilarious that Eric's tongue loosens when he's gets a little too much alcohol. I've learned some… interesting things about his past because of it. Ironically, he's learned more about my being rather than my past. All the shots that I took pertained to my past, something I'm still not ready to share with anyone.

We're having a good time until I catch sight of Amar, Max, and a few other higher ups walk in. I harshly nudge Eric, who whips around to presumably tell me off. My glare cuts him off, and I gesture my head to the opening.

"Oh shit," is his response.

"Oh shit's right. C'mon, we need to get out of here quickly. It's way fucking past curfew, and we're screwed if we get caught."

We carefully edge away from the bar and towards the back in hopes of going behind their backs, literally, as they go to order some drinks. However, it's hard to know what's going on when you're in the middle of a group of drunk, "dancing" people. I have no idea where Eric went. _I'd hate to leave him, but I'm not getting kicked out because he's a damn lightweight._ I jump out of my thoughts when a large hand lands on my shoulder. I look behind me and see Eric. We nod simultaneously and proceed to carry out our plan. _Okay, so maybe he's not a complete moron._

Our plan seems to be working so far and I can see the exit. The only problem is that we are literally five feet away from the Dauntless higher ups because of the crowd that's congealed around the bar area. _Thirty feet from the exit, twenty-five, twenty, fifteen… we're so close._ I let out a breath of relief as Eric and I reach ten feet from the exit. I celebrated my victory too early as I hear a small conversation from behind us.

"What the-? Are those transfers?" someone says. That someone sounds vaguely like Amar.

Knowing we'd get caught if we stayed even a second longer. I yell out for Eric to run and take of sprinting myself. I have to shove people out of the way but that takes a backseat in my list of things to worry about. We run side by side all the way back to the dorms but don't go in yet. I rest my hands on my knees and try to control my breathing. Eric does the same. We stay like that for a few minutes, before I start bursting into laughter.

"Oh fuck. That was way more exhausting and exhilarating than I thought. Note to self: don't try to escape Dauntless higher ups while drunk."

Another laughter fills the air, deep and slightly breathless. I smile widely as I see Eric laughing at my words and at the situation. Once he finishes, he looks at me with a gleam in his eye.

"Remind me to never go drinking with you again; that was way too fucking close," he says.

"Fair point," I respond and we smirk at each other before quietly entering the dorm and trying to sleep the few hours we can. I stare at the ceiling above me for a few seconds before smiling again and closing my eyes. I've officially established that Eric is someone who I want to have as an ally, maybe even a friend in the future. He may be an asshole still, but he makes a funny drunk at least.

* * *

 **Yay! Some Eric x Nikki action here, albeit it's pretty subtle. Hopefully, I didn't make Eric or Nikki too OOC, but hey, people do act differently when drunk. Again, I hope you enjoyed.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own anything from the Divergent series. Sorry for this being late; I meant to update days ago. However, I was on vacation and had family over. This is more of a filler, but still hope you enjoy. Don't hesitate to leave compliments, complaints, questions, theories, etc.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

Make no mistake, I have a high alcohol tolerance. However, I am definitely feeling the effects of last night. I groan and curl up into the blanket. I am usually awake before anyone else but not today. The sounds of people taking showers and banging around make my head pound. After a few minutes, I unwrap myself and stare at the ceiling. I close my eyes and whisper one simple word.

"Fuck."

Tobias, who's was tidying up his bed, glances at me in surprise. He abandons his task and starts to walk towards me. I wave him away though, still not rising out of bed. I slid my legs over the bed's edge, holding in a groan as I do so. _Damn. I can't remember the last time I felt this shitty._ I look at the bed to my right and see Eric sleeping. _At least there's one person who's going to feel worse than me._ I take my pillow and throw it at him, successfully hitting him in the head. He lets out a growl but immediately curls up.

I walk closer and hear him faintly whispering to himself about regretting life. I lift my bare foot and place it on his back, pushing him slightly. He groans but doesn't move. Sighing, I shove him with my foot, almost pushing him off the bed. Eric unravels and stands up quickly before almost falling over. He catches himself by leaning against the wall. He lifts his head and catches my eye.

"Jesus woman; what the hell's wrong with you?" Eric says angrily.

I smirk quietly before replying.

"Look, unless you want to be kicked out of Dauntless, I suggest you get your ass up. The best way to get rid of a hangover is food. Just be happy that we don't have to fight today."

He looks like he wants to rebuke me but doesn't, opting to let out a sigh and proceed with his normal morning routine. Albeit, he's a little more slow going than usual, but I am as well, so I shouldn't comment. I quickly finish up doing my stuff as well before walking towards the cafeteria with Tobias. He starts to ask me about what this morning was all about.

"Are you feeling okay? You were sluggish and slower than normal. Also, your tattoo is very interesting. I'm assuming it has some personal meaning so I won't ask," is his blunt comment.

I smile at him.

"I ran into Eric while getting a tattoo yesterday. I dared him to get a drink with me, and one thing led to another. I wanted to know more about him so I challenged him to a drinking game with shots of vodka." At this he raises his eyebrow and gives me a look. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It was stupid. Anyways, we ended up way past curfew and had to sneak back. To answer your question, I wasn't drunk but evidently had enough alcohol to have a hangover."

He just sighs and mutters something along the lines of 'she's crazy.' I smirk largely at him.

"Ya know, Tobias, maybe you should've placed in Erudite with those observation skills and worries of yours. Makes me wonder why you and Eric aren't better friends," I remark before walking away. I hear a small scoff resound behind me, and I can almost feel his eye roll.

* * *

It's very clear that Eric and I are not performing at our best during training. Alice was the second person to ask if I'm okay and so did Luke. Again, I counted my blessings that it wasn't a fighting day. During our water break, I sluggishly walk over to Eric. He's sweatier and more abrasive than usual. He glares at me as I sit next to him on the bench.

"Do you think that Amar realized that it was us last night?" I ask, making sure to keep my voice down in case said person is around.

He give a frustrated sigh.

"I don't fucking know. If you hadn't suggest we go drinking last night in the first place-"

"Hey, it was your choice to join me. I would've gone drinking in the first place," I cut him off. While I may have instigated the situation and suggested drinking, we both were being irresponsible. I refuse to take of the blame for this. I am about to speak again when I feel a presence walk up behind me. I take a cautious look behind me and see Amar with an amused look on his face. _Oh shit,_ I think. I can read from his body language that he is very smug and already knows the answer to whatever he's going to ask us. I elbow Eric, who finally becomes away of the third person when he's about to cuss me out.

"Sooooo," he draws it out, "I couldn't help but notice that you two haven't been performing the best. That wouldn't be because of alcohol would it? Hopefully, it doesn't affect your knife throwing this afternoon. I would hate for accidents to happen."

Eric and I both swallow. I almost blurt out the truth like the Candor-at-heart that I am. My test results did say I was both Dauntless and Candor. Like I told Damien, I haven't ever lied and I don't know if I ever can. Thankfully, Eric has some wits with him and comes up with a quick alibi.

"We didn't sleep well because Nikki kept having nightmares," he states. "It kept me up the entire night."

I discreetly glare at him from the corner of my eye. _Wits, my ass. Weren't you an Erudite and THAT is the best you can come up with?_ I shift my gaze to watch Amar. He's very good at hiding some things, but I can tell that he doesn't fully believe Eric's story. However, what I don't know is why he's not calling us out on it. Finally, he just nods and walks away, presumably to check on someone else. After he's out of sight and earshot, I punch Eric in the arm.

"What the hell man? 'Nikki kept having nightmares?"

"Hey, it was the quickest thing I could come up with. Anyways, I saved our asses so be happy."

I let out a scoff and shift to face the other direction. I unscrew my water bottle and take a huge chug. I wipe my mouth and look down, feeling the hair plastered to my face from sweat and droplets of it dripping down my face.

"What would I have nightmares about in the first place?" I murmur quietly.

I close my eyes while sitting back up and spend the few precious moments left of break relaxing. I internally cringe when Amar calls us all back to work. To keep my mind off the queasiness of my stomach and the aching of my head and body, I try to think of what we have left for Stage One. _We did guns the first week, knives this week, what could possibly be next? How long does Stage One even last? Zeke, he's a Dauntless-born right? Maybe, he'd know more things._ I pause for a second as I make this connection. Tobias is pretty close to them, and I relatively close to him. We already know each other, so it can't really be that hard to get some information out of him. Plus, maybe if I talk, he'll stop calling me "Silence." I smirk and do the exercises with more enthusiasm, early anticipating my secret interrogation.


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing from the Divergent Series. So...as you may have noticed, I changed the summary. I felt like if fit the story, but feel free to give me you view or suggestion for the summary. Also, sorry there hasn't been much Eric x Oc; I have a great plan, but there are things before that need to happen. This long chapter has a semi-graphic fight in it, just so you're warned. Please enjoy and don't forget to tell me your thoughts.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

To say that Zeke is surprised when I willingly approach him would be an understatement. He stares in shock, midway through chewing his food, and I internally smirk. I take my spot next to Tobias, who barely acknowledges my presence. It doesn't offend me; he's so used to be around me and has seen me open up. I look up and see Zeke still not moving. He finally snaps back to his usual hyper self when Shauna, who's sitting next to him, nudges him in the arm. I wait for him to swallow before beginning to ask him my questions. He just shrugs.

"Initiation is slightly different every year. The basics are all the same, but the order changes. So you've done a week of shooting and a week of knife throwing? Hmmm...maybe you'll another week of shooting but sniper and precision shooting instead. It's possible that we'll also do knife fighting instead of throwing them."

Tobias joins the conversation at this point.

"That would make a lot of sense. Dauntless are the protectors; that may mean going up against Factionless, who, most likely, will have knives and not guns. Being able to defend yourself against them would be a very useful skill."

I nod in agreement and start to work things out in my head. I heard that there are four weeks in Stage One and two in Stage Two. If we started fighting yesterday and do every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, that means we have about eight or nine fights. It's just enough for everyone to fight everyone else at least once. I was about eleventh out of everyone because I wasn't as strong as some of the Dauntless-born. However, I was pretty good with the guns. Since I won my first fight, my rank either rose or stayed the same. So-

I am snatched out of my mind when I hear shouting. I quickly search around for the source. I narrow my eyes in anger when I spot it; X and another initiate are...arguing?...with Alice. I hastily get out of my seat and start to walk over. I am slightly aware Tobias, Zeke, Shauna, Lauren, and Alex's eyes following my form. I sprint the last few feet and reach them just in time to intercept X's arm from hitting Alice. Just like my other confrontation with X, everyone in the cafeteria quiets down and looks at us.

"What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?" I practically seeth. It's one thing to mess with someone your own size or with someone who deserves it. Alice is neither of those. Speaking of Alice, she's staring at me with wide eyes and open mouthed.

"Oh if it isn't the bitch from before who didn't know when to shut up," he replies back.

We stare at each other, our expressions filled with hate.

"If you dare lay a hand on Alice or any of my friend, I will kill you. And don't forget what I said before, I never lie."

"Ha," X says, smirking, before going back to his dangerous look. "Like you could take me."

"Wanna bet? Let's settle this tonight. The Pit or training room, I don't care." It's my turn to smirk now. "It's your humiliation either way."

"The Pit, 9:00 tonight."

I nod before taking Alice's arm and dragging her back to my table. Zeke, Shauna, Tobias, Alex, and Lauren only stare at me, wise enough to not talk to me for a few minutes. Alice shifts uncomfortably next to me. After a few minutes of her fidgeting and the awkward atmosphere, I sigh and rub my eyes.

"Alice, as you know," I gesture to my left, "this is Tobias. Those four, in order from left to right, are Lauren, Zeke, Alex, and Shauna. They are all Dauntless-initiates if you didn't get that already."

She whispers a tentative hello, obviously trying not to aggravate me more. Tobias, being one of the only people not afraid of my mood, is having none of it. He shoves me a little with his shoulder and narrows his eyes when they meet mine.

"What?"

"Do you realize how reckless you are being? X is stronger, taller, and heavier than you. If he lands a good blow, you might not be able to get back up."

"Not to mention, X is currently ranked first out of all the initiates. He won his first match," Zeke says, but quickly shuts his mouth at both Tobias and my glares. "Sorry, not helping," he mumbles.

"I won, too. I beat Ash, who, might I add, is 6'3". Tobias, this isn't even your fight. Why are you worrying?" I scoff and shake my head, angry at his behavior. "Would you have rather I let Alice be at the monster of those two monsters? I expected more from someone who lived in Abnegation."

I storm away from the cafeteria. It seems like I can never eat my food in peace without someone starting up some shit. I'm pissed but am somehow able to make it to the training room without breaking or punching anything. I sarcastically think, Might as well get some training in, right? I start to release my anger through my strikes on the punching bag. About ten minutes in, a voice alerts me to a new presence.

"I know you hate almost everything, but I can't image what a punching bag did you," comes a sarcastic and dry voice.

I stop, breathing heavily for a moment. I get into my stance again and start going at the bag again.

"Get out Eric. Shouldn't you be worshiping that asshole?"

I know it's a pretty low blow, especially considering that Eric hates being called someone's follower or second. However, I didn't realize how pissed I made him until he walks over and catches my wrist. He throws it away from him, successfully catching me off balance. I stumble some before gaining stable footing.

"What the hell?!"

"Jesus, there's no. I came to see if you needed anything, but sorry, there's nothing to cure bitchiness," he replies heatedly.

I breath in and let out my breath slowly. On an impulse, I lie on the ground and just stare at the ceiling. I can only imagine that Eric thinks I'm crazy, but it helps me to not get dizzy. The adrenaline, exercise, and lack of sleep were getting to me some.

"I'm sorry Eric. My rudeness was uncalled for. I'm just pissed off at X."

The only sound I hear besides my breath, then, is his footsteps. Unexpectedly, I feel a jab in thigh. I hiss in surprise and sit up, looking at him. My eyes widen when I see his outstretched hand in front of my face. He just raises an eyebrow when I look at him in curiosity. Mentally shrugging, I grab his hand and he pulls me up. Not even ten seconds after, the door opens again, and the rest of the transfer initiates come through. Amar just nods at us before explaining our curriculum for today. Eric pauses besides me to say a few parting words.

"Don't overdo yourself right now. I'm sure Amar won't count it against you to take it easy right now. Save your energy for the fight."

* * *

To say that I am anxious is a slight understatement. This guy has been fighting like this since he was basically born. I've only fought inexperienced Candors and Erudites. Like Tobias said, he has the height, strength, reach, and weight advantage. However, he's not all that different from Ash and Damien, so I may be able to beat him through speed and strategy. I had arrived at the Pit at 8:45 with Tobias, Zeke, Alice, and Shauna. They were there to make sure I didn't die, which is a very reassuring thought. I'm sitting on one of the blocks, waiting for X to arrive. Getting impatient, I ask Tobias what the time is.

"It's 9:04."

"You'd think that the guy that proposed the place and time would actually be here," I murmur under my breath. Speak of the devil, I think, though, as I spot X walking over here. He has Damien and the other initiate who was with him during lunch.

Getting of the block and walking towards him, I say, "I was just about to assume that you had forfeited, but unfortunately for you, you just can't be punctual."

He doesn't answer but instead gets into a fighting stance. I scan over him quickly, noticing that he has a ring on his left hand and shoes on. So you're going to be that kind of opponent. I don't call him out on it and copy his stance. As we circle, we feign blows and steps to test each the other. X finally lashes out, but I dodge and try to throw a counter punch. He ducks in the nick of time, and we both back away some.

X tries another punch, this time a hook. I manage to jab him hard in the ribs as I duck, but I underestimated his nimbleness. While I was weaving away from the hook, he somehow was able to bring up his knee. We disengage again, both of us hiding our looks of pain. This time, however, I am the one to start the engagement again. I swiftly kick out my leg, catching him in the outer thigh. Although the blow doesn't break any bones or end fights, it is great for stunning an opponent.

The next few minutes are similar; we engage and disengage in short bursts of contact. We've both gotten some good hits in; I've a cut above my eyebrow from a punch and his nose is bloody from a well-placed kick. Despite my small victories, I am still anxious to get this over with. Neither of us are showing signs of backing off. Apparently, he was having similar thoughts, and we quickly rush to the center, ready to deliver powerful blows.

Sacrificing some protection, I go on the offensive and sweep his leg. He falls to a knee, and I swiftly mount his back. I hastily try to secure a choke hold. He realizes this a second too late; I've successfully strengthened my hold and start squeezing, cutting off his air supply. X starts to gasp but doesn't tap. If he doesn't tap, I won't let up my hold until he passes out. He tries punching my ribs, but from his position, it's a weak hit. X then bucks up so that I land on my back with his weight on top. It knocks the air out of my system, but I don't loosen my grip. I feel his resistance slowly start to fade away. Finally, I feel a tap on my arm and let go of the choke hold. He goes forwards, on his knees and gasping. I slowly start to get out and unsteadily walk towards my groups.

I ignored a very important rule though; never turn your back on an opponent. I feel a grip on my shoulder. It forcibly turns me away, and I'm greeted with a harsh fist to my abdomen. I double over and cough, feeling phlegm and blood splatter on my lips and X's shirt. My vision is splotchy. Dazed, I barely register hands dragging me back. Once I'm out of X's grip I drop to my knees and clutch my stomach. I cough some more and more specks appear on the ground. Gentle hands and arms help me up, and I look into the worries faces of Shauna and Alice. I blink to clear my vision and look in front of me. I see Zeke holding back Tobias from pounding X into the ground. Knowing that his interference would only make things worse, I try to talk.

"Tobias," I rasp. He stops struggling against Zeke's hold and looks back at me. "Let it go. It's not worth it."

He glares heatedly at X, Damien, and the other initiate before hesitantly walking towards me. He takes me from Shauna and Alice, who, in turn, make a path through the crowd. I hadn't even noticed one had formed. I briefly scan to see if I knew any of the faces. I saw Ash, David, and Marie and could've sworn that I had caught a glimpse of Eric as well. They help me limp to the medical center, but I tell them to go afterwards. All are reluctant to let me be alone, given the state I'm in. However, I have the nurse tell them that I'll be okay and they leave, albeit still uncertainly.

Once the nurse makes sure that I don't have any serious internal damage or bleeding, she releases me from the center. I have a gauze and bandage around my midsection and a bandage on the cut above my eye, which, luckily, didn't need stitches. It hurts to walk around too much, so I stick to the wall, using it as a brace. I stop when I hear heavy footsteps behind me.

"What happened to being careful?" Eric's sarcastic tone makes me smile.

"Oh you know me, I just love getting punched," I reply, as equally sarcastic.

He just sighs, probably out of frustration, before grabbing my arm and putting it around his neck. I stare at him in shock due to his boldness. Is this really the same Eric that I first started with? I raise an eyebrow before facing forward, and together we begin to walk back to the transfer room.

"Thank you," I say.

He doesn't glance down but nods his head in reply. I give a tiny smile, and we walk the rest of the way in comfortable silence.


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing from the Divergent series. Sorry for not updating sooner; I was on vacation and the words were not coming to me. This chapter has some violence in it, just so you are warned. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Don't hesitate to let me know you thoughts.**

* * *

Chapter 11

Let's just say that the next day is no present; my stomach aches and the punch mark is nasty shades of blue, purple, and green. My other injuries are only minor in comparison. In fact, I was struggling with putting my shirt in, so Tobias asked Alice to help. Though I hid it well, I was mortified at how weak I was. Breakfast was no better with Zeke and the others inquiring about my condition and looking at me with pity. I hate their pity and end up leaving breakfast early to get away. I wasn't doing great at the knife throwing, but I wasn't horrendous either. Alice kept on asking if I was okay, and Tobias was giving me what he thought were subtle looks. It was getting on my nerves.

I walk past my normal table and sit next to Eric. He regards me silently for a second before turning back to his conversation. I eat quietly next him, enjoying the silence. It feels nice that he doesn't pester or give me any pity, even if some people consider it rude or uncaring.

"So…," I pause eating and snap my head towards him, surprised that he would be the one instigating a conversation, "got tired of your pity party already?"

His tone is sarcastic and dry, but it makes me laugh on the inside. _He perfectly assessed my behavior. Maybe he does have some Erudite tendencies in him after all._

"You could say that," I respond just as drily. "There's no reason for pity; I agreed to the fight."

Eric looks ahead as he takes a sip of his drink. Still facing forwards, he says, "From what I heard, you got hurt AFTER the fight. He must have a hell of a punch if that bruise is anything to judge by." He turns his head ever so slightly in my direction and raises an eyebrow. I steel my face and emotions.

"But," he continues, "I also heard that you made him tap out like a pussy." A big smirk makes its way to his lips. "It makes me question the hype about being Dauntless-born if he's the 'best' fighter they have."

I give a laugh at that and reply with a small grin, "You and Tobias could whoop his ass easily as well."

Eric and I continue to joke about the Dauntless-born. We kept talking about how embarrassing it would be to them if five or more transfers finished in the final ten. It still baffled me how relaxed he could be at times. Never quite friendly, but definitely not as hostile. Unfortunately, lunch ends too quickly and the transfers all go to the training room. As normal, we each head to the punching bags and start warming up. I freeze mid punch when I remember something very important. _It's fighting day._

"Shit," I mutter under my breath.

Almost all the initiates, transfer and Dauntless-born, know of my fight with X. Therefore, almost everyone knows of the weakness on my stomach, making it an easy target. I keep my face emotionless but tense up. My unease increases as Amar yells for the initiates to stop what they're doing and to line up in front of the mats. He walks to the middle of the mat.

"Okay initiates, it's your second day of fighting. Hopefully, you remember all the rules, but if you don't, I'm not going to go over them." He shrugs uncaringly. "Let's get on with the fights; Bri, you will be facing Luke. Eric will be fighting Marie. Damien and David are next. Then, Nikki and Tobias, and Alice versus Ash."

My mask breaks slightly when my jaw drops some. I can't help but wonder what I did wrong to make the world hate me so much. Tobias is an exceptional fighter, and I wouldn't be able to beat him even if I wasn't injured. As Bri and Luke get up on the mat, I catch Tobias' eye. I can tell from his body language that he's hesitant to fight me. I glare some when I realize this but turn back to watch the fight. When the time comes for us to fight, I won't let him take it easy on me.

Luke wins but not without some injuries. Unsurprisingly, Eric's fight lasts all of two minutes; he knocked Marie out with a quick strike to the head. Not to say I don't feel bad for the girl, but I already know she's not making it past Stage One. She's not strong enough, mentally or physically, to survive Dauntless. Damien's victory annoys me but isn't shocking. As we walk past each other, he gives me a smirk to which I full on glare. I take up my position as Tobias takes his. His reluctance is still there.

"Hey Tobias,' I tell him before Amar can officially start our match. "Don't go easy on me, 'kay?"

That seems to do the trick; the hesitation in his eyes goes away. I know he'll probably end up feeling guilty, but I will not take pity from someone. I nod at him as Amar says to start, and we engage.

He's just as powerful and dangerous as I thought he was. His punches and movements are all strategically planned. I try to avoid them the best I can, but with my injury-limited movements and his incredible technique, a fair amount of them end up finding their target. I do get a few punches and kicks in, though. I go for a kick but my injury forces me to abandon it halfway through, leaving my left side open. Tobias sees this and hits me there. I drop to my knees immediately after. He goes for a choke hold and wraps his arms around me neck. I am, miraculously, able to kick one of legs out while simultaneously throwing me head back. My headbutt stuns him and the kick throws him off balance. I use that opportunity to get out of the hold and back up some.

While he recovers, I try to stand up. Immediately, I fall back to one knee. Hissing in pain, I finally manage to stand up. I managed to block a few more punches, before a foot on my stomach makes me go down again. It was right on my bruise and the pain is tremendous. I shimmy away some and hold out a palm. I close my eyes and cough onto the mat. Familiar red specks spot the mat, my lips, and my teeth. Tobias, understanding my meaning, backs off. I hear faintly in the background Amar announcing the winner. I try to push myself of the mat while keeping a hand on my stomach, but I can only get to my knees. A hand appears in my face, and it pulls me up when I grab it. Tobias takes that hand and puts it around his neck as he helps me of the mat. He starts to held to the medical center but I pull against him some.

Wiping the blood from my lips and face, I say, "I want to watch and support Alice. I know she won't win, but I still want to be here."

He nods and redirects me to the closest bench to the mats. He hands me a water bottle, and I thank him quietly. I tell him to go back to the line. Offhandedly, I notice he has a slight limp and smirk internally that I did some damage. It may seem cruel, but Tobias is my friend, a person on the mats is not. I turn my attention to the mats where Alice is not faring well. Ash was a relatively difficult opponent for me, and she stands no chance. Soon enough, the match is over, with Alice calling it off. Noticing her struggle with moving, I call out to Tobias.

"Tobias," he looks at me, "help Alice to the medical center. I can make it on my own."

He's obviously apprehensive of my words but helps Alice nonetheless. I sit on the bench as everyone starts to leave the training room. I spot a glance from Amar and a smirk from Damien as they pass me, but I don't move. One the door closes finally, I release my mask. I make a small noise of pain as I sit up straighter. Lifting up my shirt to my bra, I survey the patches of darkly colored skin. My face contorts into a look of hurt as I gently touch the areas. I wouldn't be surprised if a few of my ribs were cracked and if I now had internal bleeding. I finally get the tolerance to try and move. I bite my tongue from giving a small yelp. Slowly, I make my way to the door.

I give a jolt of surprise, instantly followed by a hiss. The cause for my small jump is the presence of Eric leaning on the space of wall exactly next to the doors. I glare at him, before asking him what the hell he's doing here. He sneers at me before involuntarily hoisting me up on his back. I wince as my stomach connects with his back, which is really muscular. As he walks, he talks.

"What the hell were you thinking? 'Oh, I can do this by myself. No need to worry, I'm just bleeding internally and are in extreme pain.' I didn't think you were that stupid, even if you did come from Candor."

I glare briefly at him for the slur at Candor, but relax my face into a neutral expression.

"Alice needed more help than I did. I would've eventually made it to the medical center, but she wouldn't have been able to. I'm not as weak as some people like to think-"

"It's not a matter of weakness," Eric rudely interrupts. "Most people wouldn't have been able to fight Tobias like that if they were weak. You're not weak...just stupid apparently."

I can tell from his voice and attitude that he is really pissed at me. Being "smart," I don't talk anymore and let him take me to the medical center. After he hands me off to a nurse, he leaves without another word. I sit on the bed with my shirt off as the nurse assesses the damage. I stare at the wall as she works.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

I snap out of my daze and look at her.

"No."

She glances at me briefly, possibly put off by my bored and distant tone. I wait silently for the verdict on my injuries.

"Your eighth rib on the left side is cracked but luckily not fractured. Had the hit been slightly higher, the rib would've definitely broken and possibly punctured and organ. Now, you have some internal bleeding, but nothing too serious. The multiple hits to your stomach has caused a tear in the lining. I'm going to wrap your stomach and give you a few pills for the bleeding and pain."

After, she does so, I thank her and leave the medical center. The pain pills have kicked in, leaving me with only a faint throbbing in my stomach. I make my way to the room and just lay there. I don't bother going to dinner, instead, opting to take another pain pill and fall asleep. It takes only thirty before the gray ceiling turns into black nothingness.


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own anything canon from Divergent. I am so sorry for not updating sooner. I was out of the country and didn't bring my computer, and then I had school. Having five AP's does not allow for much time. Hopefully, though, I will be updating every Saturday or Sunday. This is more of a filler chapter, but a whole bunch of action is coming your way. I always appreciate comments whether they be just comments, criticism, questions, theories, anything. Thanks for waiting and hope you enjoy**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

I feel a rough hand shaking my shoulder. I just turn my head and slump further into the mattress. A foot thumps my calves, trying to wake me, but fails. All I feel is exhaustion, and something about the darkness is comforting. _This is too comfy to leave. I don't care if I get points off for missing training,_ I think. I almost completely doze off again when cold water splashes on me. I jolt from the surprise and the temperature. Sitting up straight, my hair sticks to my face and my neck. Immediately, though, my hands go to my stomach. It feels like it's been hit by a sledgehammer, which is actually not all that far from what Tobias' fist feels like.

I look around and glare at the person responsible for my now wet hair, sheets, and clothes. Eric leans against the wall, looking as smug as ever. His smirks grows even larger at my facial expression.

"What the hell was that for Eric?" I seethe quietly.

He quirks an eyebrow. "You needed to get up," he shrugs. "This was the quickest way."

I narrow my eyes more, before deciding it's not worth it. I fall back onto my wet sheets and try to fall back to sleep. I hear a faint sigh of frustration and grin internally. _That'll show Eric that it'll take more than a little water to get in between me and sleeping._ I am just about to drift again...again…when a hand shakes my shoulder...again.

My stomach still hurts as I sit up for a second time, but my anger allows me to ignore it.

"What the hell do you need?" I shout.

I blink, though, when I see Tobias' darker blue eyes instead of Eric's light one. I massage the back of my neck, loosening the muscles, as I roll my eyes. After my short stretching session, I look between the two males by my bed. I give them a deadpan look and get off the bed.

"If my being awake is that important that I can't get another ten minutes of sleep, you better have a good excuse," I say.

Tobias decides to respond. "You didn't eat dinner yesterday. You can't afford to skip breakfast today. Even though we're not fighting today, it still counts towards rank placement."

I rub my eyes with two fingers. I know he's being logical, but everything about me just hurts right now. My anger has dissipated so the full force of my injuries are felt. I nod without looking at them and get up to kneel by my bed. I reach under my mattress to grab the pain pill bottle. I take two out and pop them in my mouth, dry swallowing them. After I put them back in their hiding spot, I stand up to face them. I can read their reaction to the pill bottle from their expressions; Eric's tense jaw shows his displeasure and his anger, whereas Tobias' eye show solemness and guilt.

"I'm fine. You'll only need to worry about me when I ask for help."

I won't take pity; I've already had enough of it. Mentally shaking myself out of my little memory lane journey, I smirk at them, masking any negative emotion I was feeling.

"Wasn't the whole point of trying to wake me up was so that we could get breakfast? Keep pitying me like that and we'll miss it."

* * *

Today, we're doing something different. Eric and I had exchanged confused glances when Amar had told us this. What made the situation even more baffling was that the Dauntless-born were joining us. I caught Zeke's eye, and he gave me a happy wave. I rolled my eyes but gave a small smile.

Amar stops us in front of the train tracks. He checks his watch and converses with the Dauntless-born's trainer, but I'm too far back to hear what he's saying. After a minute or two of them silently conversing and all the initiates talking, the Dauntless-born's trainer clears his throat. The crowds silences and he begins to speak.

"To answer your questions, today we are taking a little field trip to Amity." A few groans erupt from the initiates, but the trainer just smirks it away. "I know, I know. But this is an important part of Dauntless. We are the protectors of the cities. That means monitoring the Factionless."

Amar cuts in. "But it also means monitoring the walls. Most Dauntless members have had to watch and guard the walls at least one."

"Don't be surprised if you end up with this job for the first two or three years," the other trainer says.

They don't have time to say anymore as the train can be heard approaching. They step back from the tracks to let the train pass by some before getting on. The initiates start to get on as well. Eric and I get into the third car. I see Shauna and Alex. I nod my head at them as we catch each other eyes. I see Shauna's eye flicker to Eric's for a millisecond, but it is filled with apprehension. I look down and cock my head, processing it. _She doesn't trust Eric but trusts Tobias? If I had to pick a deadlier opponent, it would be Tobias. At least with Eric, you can see his true emotions and strength, whereas Tobias is silently deadly._ I shake my head before I get too deep into thought.

It doesn't take longer than thirty minutes to reach the Amity complex. I stare wide-eyed at the amount of green there is. There are trees and plants everywhere, and the "headquarter" is made out of glass. It seems to open and light compared to the dark and enclosed Dauntless headquarter. The amount of brightness and color makes me uncomfortable. I fidget a little bit as the initiates in the first three cars start jumping off. All my life, I've been surrounded by black, white, and red, and that's what I've grown accustom to. _Stop being silly. You're literally being intimidated by fucking colors!_

Eric, Shauna, Alex and I jump off together and land of the soft grass. I immediately feel even more out of place. The ground is soft and squishy. The ground back at Dauntless is either solid rock, gravel, or pavement. At Candor, it was white stone and marble. I look around, trying to find Amar. Focusing on a familiar person would help center me. When I find him, I see how out of place he _looks_.

They lead all of us to the top of the walls and begin explaining the procedures and requirements of wall duty. Apparently, there are two shifts: morning, which is from 00:00 to 11:59, and night, which is from 12:00 to 23:59. They begin taking us the length of the wall, showing us some of the equipment rooms, etc.

"What's beyond the walls? Why do we need to guard it?" a voice rings out.

I squeeze my eyes together in a small cringe. I knew Eric's Erudite traits would come out at one point or another. I just hope that they won't react negatively. His question could be taken as a sign of questioning their authority. Glancing at the Dauntless-born's trainer, I can tell from his tense body that he took it the wrong way. Amar, thankfully, answers his question first, allowing me to loosen my muscles.

"Let's just say that the walls are here for a reason. No more discussion on this will be tolerated and bringing it up again will not bode well for anyone. Now, where were we?"

We continue the the trip without anymore interruption or questions. I don't realize how long we had been here until I see the sun setting and the sky changing colors. To be honest, I had forgotten what sunsets had looked like. It's beautiful; the blues blend into the purples, which in turn blend into the orange, pinks, and reds closet to the sun. As the train takes us away, I keep my eyes on the sinking light, knowing that I won't be seeing it again for a while. A small feeling of doubt settles in my stomach as I realize that I would miss the natural light. I had gotten used to the fake lights they used but that had now shattered. I let out a small sigh and force my eyes away. I catch Eric trying to subtle look at me out of the corner of his eye. I know he heard my release of breath and is probably wondering why.

I give a small fake smile, and, while keeping my eyes focused forwards, say, "I'm fine."

* * *

 **If you're wondering about the wall shifts, it's in military time. Basically, the morning shift goes from midnight to 11:59 A.M, and the night shift goes from midday to 11:59 P.M.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Divergent. I am so, so, so sorry for not updating. I know I said I would do it every weekend but two weekends ago, I had to attend a funeral, and this last weekend, I was swamped with homework. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. It is more of a filler but some very important plot points are going to happen soon. Thank you and don't forget to leave a comment.**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

I wake up with a crick in my spine and neck. I stretch and pop everything back into place, making a series of loud noises that makes Eric glance at me. I just nod my head towards him. Today is Friday, and I can't be more thankful for a weekend to rest from the bruises and injuries I've accumulated throughout the week. Breakfast and practice goes by quickly, and I must say that I am excited to fight. It gives me a reason to use all my energy. I quickly glance at the board to find my name. _I'm fighting David. That should be relatively easy._ I'm feeling confident and calm today, until I see it. I stare at the two names as dread floods through my stomach. Alice versus Damien. I glance around and see Alice mirroring my expression. I take a quick look at Damien and see him grinning.

I'm about to go over there to punch him, when Amar clears his throat, successfully gaining our attention. He calls out David and my names first. We both get up onto the mats and the fight begins.

It's a blur to be fair, but I knew that I beat David pretty quickly but badly. I probably should feel some remorse but I'm too worried about Alice to care about anyone else. I feel a hand on my shoulder but shove it away. I'm staring at Amar harshly, but he's either ignoring my gaze or not seeing it. I almost go up there as he calls for Damien and Alice next. The hand that I had knocked off my shoulder grabs onto my upper arm and pulls me back. I snap my head back to see Eric with a warning look in his eyes. I jerk my arm away but make no further movement. I look at the match and see Alice looking at me worriedly. I lock my gaze with hers and just nod my head. There's nothing else I can do.

The fight ends quickly but it extremely gruesome. Alice was able to get maybe one or two shots in before Damien broke her nose, hand, and a few ribs. Alice can barely move after Amar forced Damien off of her. I walk up to her and help her get up. I let Alice lean all of her weight on me. I start to walk to the door when Amar calls out.

"Where are you going initiate?"

"I'm talking my fellow initiate to be treated." I try to say calmly but am hissing between my teeth

"Did I give you permission?" He replies just as passively aggressively.

"Does it look like I give two fucks about your permission?" I retort sharply and continue on my path.

* * *

Alice and I walk in silence, which is unsurprising considering she's on the verge of passing out or is and I don't talk unless I have to.I feel a weak cough emerge from the body next to me and little droplets hit my neck.

"Why did you do that? You didn't have to; you shouldn't have. Your rank could be lowered for this you know," Alice says quietly.

I smile grimly before replying.

"Still got some of that Amity in you, don't you?" I sigh. "I close out nearly everyone. You, however, have managed to become quite close to me. As has Tobias, and as much as I hate to admit it, those idiots Eric and Zeke. I don't know why I opened up to you, but I did. And now that I have, I don't want to lose you." My voice lowers drastically as I say the next sentence. "I don't want to lose anymore people."

I feel Alice looking at me, knowing that she's confused and wants to ask questions. But for once, I'm glad that she acts upon her Amity upbringing and remains silent as to not cause conflict. We walk, once more in silence, to the clinic. I hand Alice over to the nurse explaining what happened. She just nods and starts to address and clean up Alice's wounds. I sit in one of the chairs near the front and close my eyes for a few seconds. I open them when I feel a hand shaking and almost instinctively slap them. I jerk my head back when I see Eric's face near mine.

"What the fuck Eric?" I rub my eyes. "What do you need?"

He crosses his arms and looks at me.

"I honestly did not think you could be more stupid Nikki? Do you want to become Factionless, because I can tell you, you're on your way there. God, Nikki; can you go one day without getting into a fight or insulting someone?"

I stand up angered.

"Says you! Eric, I don't think you understand. I will always stand up for the people I consider friends, I don't care about the consequences." I calm down some and say in a calmer voice. "Don't think that I'm not the same cold-hearted bitch that you first knew. I still am. But I'm also someone who doesn't want the people I consider close to get hurt. I get it if you don't understand that Eric, but I'm asking you to understand my choices."

He doesn't answer but looks at me quizzically. _I bet he's asking himself if I'm the same woman he grabbed drinks with that one night._ That makes me cock my head at him and his eyes snap to mine. I keep looking at him as I call out to Alice.

"Alice, you don't mind if Eric and I go to grab a few drinks do you?"

"No, no, no. Go on; I don't like drinking that much anyways," she replies.

I smile, albeit dangerously and Eric cocks his eyebrow.

"What would you say Eric if I challenged you to a game?"

* * *

We go to the same bar that we visited last time. It's, if even possible, more crowded than last time. We have to shove our way to the counter. I'm about to order my drink, when Eric orders eight shots of rum. He splits them evenly and pushes half of them towards me. I raise my eyebrow at him and he raises his mockingly in return.

"Want to continue our game from last time?"

I shrug in reply. I just need something to get my mind off all Alice and Damien.

He starts by asking me what I thought of Dauntless training, to which I reply that I thought it was decent enough but was rough around the edges, especially when it came to weapons. I think that we should focus on guns more than knives, as they are more applicable and practical right now. He nods his head in agreement. I ask him what position he wanted after he completed initiation. He says that he wanted to become a Dauntless leader. His next question surprises me.

"I dare you to get another tattoo," Eric says.

I frown slightly and take hold of one of the shots.

"I thought this was a game of questions and truths, not truth-and-dare."

He just shrugs and I roll my eyes at him while draining the shot.

"I'm getting another one tonight, but I was thirsty," I say deadpanning.

He looks at me in slightly disbelief and gives a microscopic laugh. I smile at the sound. Eric can be a giant dick, but I do like it when he laughs. There's just something about someone as hard and cold as Eric laughing that gives me a small jolt of relief and happiness.

"In fact," I say standing up. "I'm off to go get my tattoo. However, I will take these," I grab my three remaining shots. I give him a grin as I walk out. I go to the shop and ask for the person at the table if I can have Jay.

"He's working on someone right now. You can come back if you want or you can go with Tori," she says.

"Tori's fine. I've seen some of her work and it's pretty nice."

She leads me to Torie, who, in turn, leads me to a bench.

"What do you want this time?" She says.

I glance at my tattoo on my right forearm, _Beyond fear and deception is freedom._ I press my tongue to the bottom of my mouth before deciding on another set of words.

"I want 'Do not fear death, for it finds us all in the end' on the left side of the rib cage. Do you think you can mimic Jay's handwriting?"

She nods and starts to prep the needle. I take off my tank top and lay down on my right side. I show her where exactly I want it, which is two inches below my black sports bra. As the needle hits my skin, I wince silently on the inside some. It hurts more than my forearm tattoo did. To get my mind of it, I concentrate on the meaning of the words. As I thought during my first tattooing session, I want all things to be unique and meaningful. The first one is my true beliefs and this one...it's a reminder. It's a reminder that even if I had saved **them** then, they would still have died eventually. Before I know it, Tori's done and is wiping away the excess cleanser. This time, she puts a bandage over it.

"The ribs are generally more sensitive than the forearm, and this will help with the healing process."

I nod at her and pay the money. As I walk back to the dorm, I spot Tobias and Shauna heading in the direction of the training room. I stop behind them with my arms crossed.

"What are you two doing?"

Shauna, much to her embarrassment I would assume, squeaks as she turns around. Tobias, however, addresses me very calmly and unsurprised.

"Shauna asked me for some help with fighting considering I'm the top of the initiates and X doesn't seem like the teaching type."

I nod my head.

"Can I join?" Shauna and Tobias look at me with confusion. "One can always brush up on their skills. Tobias, you beat my ass, so who better to teach me about my flaws?"

Not waiting for their response, I push ahead of them and start walking to the training rooms. They begin to follow. Once we all arrive, Tobias begins giving tips to Shauna. After about a two hours or so, Tobias decides that that's enough for one night and Shauna leaves to go wherever the hell Dauntless-born go to. Tobias and I walk towards our dorms, both of us comfortable with the surrounding silence.

* * *

 **Sorry if it feels rushed at the end; I wanted to wrap this chapter up but still have kind of closure. Hopefully, Nikki doesn't seem too weird with her tattoo choices.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own Divergent. Okay, so this is the second chapter for today. I will warn you there are mentions of suicide in here. It ties into Nikki's past and why she behaves like how she does. Hopefully, this doesn't seem too rushed or forced. Anyways, I hope you like it and don't forget to comment or tell me if I made a mistake or anything.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

When I wake up, I can only close my eyes and be thankful that it's Saturday. I roll onto my left before a slight stinging sensation reminds me of my new tattoo. I groan quietly and throw the blanket to ground as I get up. I see that only a few people are awake, consisting of Tobias, Damien, and Bri. I take a shower, not worried about intruders or harassment because I know Tobias wouldn't allow that to happen. I somehow manage to forget my tank top and walk back to my bed in pants and a sports bra. I pick up the shirt that I had left on my bed and frown; _I need to go shopping. I need more pants and shirts._ Shrugging it off, I pull the shirt over my head, but before I can pull it past my bra line, a hand catches it. I stiffen automatically, until I hear a small scoff of disbelief.

"So you really did get a new tattoo?"

I relax when I hear Eric's voice. Pulling away and turning around to face him, I find myself staring at his bare chest. I quickly look up at his face and see him smiling cockily.

"Yes I did," I say as I hastily pull down my shirt. I chose that spot so that not a lot of people could see it. It's one of the deepest parts of my heart and of my beliefs.

"Now I would appreciate you not sneaking up on me. I might accidentally castrate you if you're not careful."

He just lets out a big laugh.

* * *

Saturday passes in a blur; nothing bad or great happened. It's a perfect, neutral day. Alice and I went shopping, though I focused on the basic, practical clothes and she bought dresses and makeup. (I did punch someone who tried to put eyeshadow on me without my consent.) I spent the rest of the day working out and drinking. Surprisingly, I actually found Zeke and his gang in the new bar I tested out. It was nice to chat with them...well, Lauren, Shauna, and Alex. Zeke was pretty much wasted. I also went to the tattoo shop in the afternoon. I didn't get anymore, but I was curious about what it would be like to work there and what the requirements. It was also nice to simply talk to Jay. He introduced me to his girlfriend, Devona, who also worked there.

I didn't, however, see Eric at all after breakfast. I was lucky enough to avoid any unwanted confrontations with Damien or X or really anyone I didn't want to see. When walking around the Pit out of boredom, I spotted Amar and begrudgingly apologized for my behavior. He took me back when he said that it was okay and that he understood the situation. Apparently, there was a close friend of his who was beaten to an inch of his life and he had disobeyed orders to help his friend help.

Around 22:00 (10:00 pm), I meet Shauna and Tobias outside of the training room and we practice stances. I have no problem admitting that Tobias is definitely a great teacher. I've seen Shauna already improve her technique and this was just the second day. Even I've learned some tips. It makes me wonder why he's such a good fighter; he was Abnegation after all. I was Candor, but I still had plenty of fights and time to learn. Damien and Eric are the same. X and Zeke already had experience from growing up here. Despite my puzzlement, I go to sleep with a small smile on my face, happy that at least one day doesn't have something fucked up in it.

* * *

When I wake up Sunday, I just stay in bed. I know I'm missing breakfast, but it's so comfortable and I can sleep on my left side today. I only stir when I feel a shaking on my shoulder. I open my eyes and expect it to be Tobias, but it's Alice.

I squint my eyes and mumble, "What do you need?"

"It's 9:00, Nikki. You don't really want to spend your last free day in bed do you?"

I just groan but follow her advice and get changed. I throw my hair up into a ponytail and put on some clothes. Alice all but drags me out of the dorms and through the compound. She finally stops at a hair place.

I turn to her and raise my eyebrows.

"You want to get your hair cut?"

She shakes her head.

"I want to get it dyed. Do you think an electric blue would work?"

I tilt my head and study her features. She has bright blue eyes and a medium-shade of blonde hair. Having electric blue eyes would bring out her eyes and the small freckles on her nose. I nod my head in silent agreement of her decision. She glances at me anxiously.

"How do I know you're not just saying that?"

I sigh before replying.

"I have never lied in my life. Do I strike you as a person to lie just to be nice?"

Alice looks at my expression and giggles to herself when she realizes how stupid her question was. She gives me a small and shy smile.

"I'm just really nervous. I haven't changed my appearance once since we've got here. I mean, you've already got two tattoos. Eric's got a tattoo and changed his hair. I'm pretty sure even Tobias' got a tattoo or something. Anyway, I thought it was time to really 'become Dauntless' you know?"

I nod again and agree, "I understand what you mean. If you're anxious about the color, you can always ask the hair dye person. An electric blue would bring out your eyes and your freckles. It would also make you look more badass instead of a wimpy Amity blonde."

"Okay," she sighs, "I'm going in. Do you mind waiting here for me?"

"Take your time," I say as I sit by the wall.

I have to wait three hours for her to finally come out, though I must say, she looks pretty kickass with her new hairstyle. She even cut it so it only goes to her chin. I give a slow clap as she catches sight of me on the ground. Alice smiles, obviously happy with my approval.

"I think the color and length really suit you. Ready to head to lunch?"

She nods and we're off. We reach lunch halfway through, and we spot Zeke and Tobias and go to sit next to them. We greet each other with short hello's and I start eating. Zeke and Lauren look at me strangely but Alice explains that I missed breakfast. I hear Alex compliment her and she replies, though a little flustered. I examine both of them and read their body language. I smirk when I figure out that they like each other and grin at Tobias behind Alice's back. He gives one in return and I know he figured it out as well.

I'm about to return to my food when I hear the obnoxious sound of a chair scraping against the flooring. I turn and see Damien clearing his throat. By now most of the official members have left, but nearly all the initiates are there. _What plan are you thinking about?_ His body language screams dangerous and mischievous. I glare as he begins to speak.

"As you all know, I was Candor before I transferred to Dauntless. Now, a tradition there was to have every little family secret and event public because no lies, remember? Now, in two days it will the the two year anniversary of one of the biggest Candor scandals in history-"

I stop breathing as soon as he mentions the date. My face pales to an unhealthy white color and my knuckles start to grip the utensils too tightly and shake. _No, no, no, no, no, no!_

"-It was a tragic day for everyone in Candor, considering they were highly respected and valued for their negotiations with Erudite-"

Tobias notices my distress before anyone else and reaches behind Alice to lay a hand on my shoulder. I don't react to it; I'm too fixated on Damien's words.

"-I want to send my regrets to Nikki here." Everyone turns to face me. He continues on with mock sympathy, "It must be very hard to deal with. I mean, I can't imagine what it would be like watching my parents suicide in front of me."

There it is. All the chatting goes silent. I know everyone is looking at me, waiting, watching, and ready to judge me. I close my eyes and swallow before put my utensils down, my shaking only noticeable to those close by me. Without looking at anyone directly and keeping my gaze straightforward, I get up and I walk out of the mute cafeteria.

I somehow find myself on the bridge above the Chasm. I wrap my fingers around the cold metal and squeeze until my knuckles turn a ghostly white. I fall to my knees and try to keep in the tears. _God-FUCKING-damn you Damien! I hope you rot in the deepest pits of hell when I send you there myself._ I press my head against on of the metal bars and try to concentrate on the sound of the rushing water beneath me. It doesn't help and two tears escape my eyes. My breath is getting caught in my throat and I don't know if I'm breathing or choking. My body starts to shake again, but I keep suppressing the memories. _I don't want to remember or see it again and again and again. Why does the past always come back to haunt us?_

I don't move as I hear a few sets of footsteps stop near me. I know that it's Zeke, Alex, Shauna, Tobias, Lauren, and Alice. It's too many right now; I can't handle their questions or their goddamn pity.

"Leave me alone," I command in a quiet, broken, and detached voice. "I need to be alone right now."

"Nik-"

"I said leave me alone," I cut whoever off harshly. I get up and walk the other direction, not sparing them a glance. _If they won't leave me, I'll leave them._ I continue to walk aimlessly, taking left and right turns randomly, undoubtedly making myself lost. But I'm beyond caring; the deepest and darkest part of my soul… of my heart… of my history was ruthlessly exposes to Dauntless, the faction of the BRAVE. I was always told suicide was the easy way out. No doubt the story will reach the ears of every member by midday Monday. I snap myself out of my head when I almost walk off the ledge. I didn't realize how far up I am; one more foot and I would be nothing but a speck on the bottom of the Chasm. I can't hold it back; I fall against the wall and sit down, silently crying out.

That day wasn't just the day that my parents died. It was the day that everything I need had been reversed. Suddenly, I was alone. I had no relatives, and I wasn't that social to begin with. People always looked at me with pity or with dismissal. No, it was the day that started a two year cycle of alcohol and seclusion. I lean my head back and look up at the glass roof. The sun's a little more than halfway across the sky. It doesn't dry the streaks on my cheeks though.


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Divergent. Warnings: semi-graphic mentions of suicide. So this chapter is a flashback incase it's not clear. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes. I want to thank you all for your support; I didn't really realize how many people were viewing this. It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to comment.**

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 **Chapter 15**

 _I was fourteen and coming home from school. My black and white clothing whipped around me as I ran towards the apartments section. School had always bored me, so I was excited to finally be home. I slowed down to a walk opened the glass doors. I saw a few familiar faces pass me by in the hallway. I nodded politely at them and got into one of the elevators. I took one of the elevators to the 8th floor. Not many people lived on our floor so all I heard was my black shoes clacking on the white marble floor. I knocked on our door before opening it up._

 _Our apartment was standard in Candor; a two bedroom one with a living and kitchen area. All of our furniture was black and white, as concurrent with the policy. We did sneak in a little bits of gray and green though. My bedroom consisted of a black desk, a white bed, a black bookshelf, and a closet. There was a mirror in the adjoining bathroom. It was nothing complex, more plain than anything else. My bookshelf had an array of standard books, like the "Faction's Manifesto," and some of my textbooks from school. I had one or two journals there was well. My parent's room and mine were separated by the living area/kitchen space._

 _I went straight to my room after coming inside. I threw my bag on my bed and opened my curtains. I let the sun shine on my face for a minute before calling out to my parents. I frowned when I didn't hear them respond. I started to think about when I came home, and my brows furrowed more; my mom would usually welcome me home from school._

" _Mom?" I tentatively called out._

 _When I heard no response, I went slowly over to their bedroom and rapped lightly on the door._

" _Mom?" I repeated. "Are you there?"_

 _Again, there was no response. Hesitantly, I grabbed the door handle and twisted it down. I started to open it carefully but stopped as soon as I was able to see into the room. My hand dropped from the handle and I stood with my mouth open. Tears had unconsciously started sliding down my face. All I could do was stare with wide eyes and an open mouth at the scene in front of me._

 _My mom was hanging above the bed; her feet floating three inches above the bed. Her skin was an unlively white shade, almost matching her white blouse. Her blue veins were prominent against her deathly complexion. Her head hung over the black band connected her neck to the ceiling fan. I reached out but didn't make it more than a step before collapsing onto my knees._

" _Mom?" I choke out. "Mom? No, no, no, no..."_

 _Shakily, I stand up and back up out of the room. My eyes never left the gruesome sight of my mother hanging until I could physically no longer see it. However, the image seemed burned into my mind. Finally fully comprehending the situation, I run out of my apartment. I started screaming and shouting for people to help me. No one on my floor seemed to be present on my floor, likely everyone was working, so I ran down to the next floor._

" _Help me please! Please...please help me," I break down sobbing in the middle of the 7th floor hallway. I don't know how much time had passed before I finally felt someone's hand shaking my shoulder. I looked up into the dark brown eyes of an old woman._

" _Why are you crying? What happened?" She asked._

" _My mom was hanging from her fan," I blurted out in a Candor fashion. "I don't know what to do."_

 _She stared at me and, without saying a word, wrapped her arms around me. She took me into her apartment and told me to wait there until she came to fetch me. It wasn't until a few hours later that I was allowed to go back into my apartment. This time when I opened the door, the stench of intense cleaning materials and alcohol stung my nose. I saw my dad sitting at the table with a beer in his hands. I ran to him and hugged him tightly, crying all over again._

" _Dad," I sobbed out. "Why did Mom do this?"_

 _He didn't answer, didn't even look at me. I backed away and analyzed him. He wasn't looking at anything in particular but stared off into space. My dad hadn't made any movement or sound to indicate that he even knew I was here. I tried calling out to him once more, but not sound was uttered his lips. Deciding that he was grieving in his own way, I went to my bedroom and lied down. I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time, but sometime around 2:00 or so in the morning, my body and mind gave into the temptation of the darkness of sleep._

 _When I awoke later that same morning, there was an even nastier stench in the air. I quickly came out of my room, only to see my dad on the couch with vomit on him and the floor. I screamed, and this time, people arrived instantaneously. I hastily escorted out of the apartment and was brought to the Candor headquarters. I was told to wait until further notice. I didn't cry or shake or curl up. I sat in the chair as still as a statue._

 _Eventually, it was confirmed that my father had passed away from choking on alcohol and vomit around 5:30 a.m. I had officially lost both of my parents in a span of less than 24 hours. I started to detach myself from other people as rumors spread. Having an incident this big was surely announced to the people of Candor, who, as true to their faction's principle, said whatever they thought about the situation. All those rumors were made known to me either directly or from overhearing them._

 _To distract from the trauma and memories, I started doing risky things; I bribed Dauntless students to get me alcohol and my knife, and I started fighting people. That's how I first met Damien and why he and I hate each other. I would slack in school, and my life was a mess in general. To make matters worse, the old woman who had helped me died half a year later. I truly had no one left; I attest this moment to the start of my detachment from caring about people._


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own Divergent. Okay, I am so so so sorry for my absence. With everything from school to just a bit of writer's block, my life's been hectic. Nonetheless, here is the next chapter. I'm curious though; do you guys think that Eric or Tobias or even Nikki is too OOC? Also, don't be hesitant to let me know any thoughts you have. Thanks and enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 16**

I awake to find dried tear streaks on my cheeks and the compound dark. _How long I was gone for_? I wonder glumly. I get up and brush off the the dust from my pants. I definitely don't want to go back to the dorms. I'm not in the mood to fight Damien or one of the others. The only other options are bars, shops, or just wandering around the Pit. I decide on the idea that initially enters my mind and walk into the first bar I stumble across.

Upon sitting down at the bar, I just start drinking...not really keeping track or caring about how many I've had. Alcohol is a great numbing agent. After a while, my vision starts to hazy some and my thinking and motor skills are slightly impaired. I'm not overly drunk, but I'm certainly not sober either. A hand lands on my shoulder, almost making me topple over. I look over my shoulder and see Tobias.

"Hi Tobias. How' you doin'? Wanna join me? The bartender… Robert? No, John… I don't know what the fuck his name is… makes really good drinks," I tell him slightly slurring my words, and uncaring about his obvious worry. "In fact," I start to call over the bartender, when Tobias grabs my hand and forces it down.

I raise an eyebrow at his actions. Looking up at him, I ask, "Wha's the matter? Never had alcohol before? It's definitely an acquired taste, but I promise you'd like it."

He just looks at me, not breaking the eye contact.

"But that's not why you're here is it?" I continue, closing my eyes and plastering a fake smile onto my lips. "No, you want to make sure that I don't get hurt. You also want me to come back to the dorms."

"But I'm fine right where I am. You see, I have no desire to go back to that hell hole, 'specially not with Damien. That fucker will eventually get what's coming to him; I'll be the one to do it. I can understand not liking someone- hell, I can even understand hating someone- but Damien's on a whole new level," I say bitterly.

"How much have you had to drink, Nikki? I know that you don't get drunk easily?" he asks, sincerity and worry detectable in his voice. His body is tense and I can see, even in my inebriated state, that he's uncomfortable here.

I give a shrug and wave my hand in his general direction.

"Eh, maybe half a dozen or so. Geez Tobias, why do you have to be so stiff all the time? No offense," I quickly say while giving him a side glance. "Just lighten up. Have a few drinks. Life's too short to always be worried about proprietary. If you wanted to deal with meek, proper people, you picked the wrong faction. I mean look at me; look at Damien or X or Eric. We're already fifty shades of fucked up and we're not even members." I end with a dry chuckle and another sip from my almost empty drink.

Tobias sighs heavily and takes the cup from me, placing it on the table. I don't fight him. It's incredible how bipolar drunk people can be; I went from being blissfully ignoring life to feeling shitty about it. _Thanks Tobias for ruining the mood._ I lean onto the counter and cross my arms, providing a sort of pillow for my head. I lay my head down so that I face away from Tobias. I can just feel his gaze on me.

"Tobias, why are you really here? Either drag me away or leave me to wallow in my pathetic self-pity. Both of those choices are better than having someone simply babysitting you."

"Well, I don't know how good of an idea it is now, but Shauna was wondering if you wanted to practice with us tonight."

I look down and contemplate my options as best as I could, but my head is starting to spin and I feel woozy. I give a deep exhale of breath before sitting up and getting to my feet.

"Yeah, trying to fight would probably be really bad for me. I'm just…," I hesitate, "going to go back to the dorm. Good luck with you lesson with Shauna.

I start walking towards the exit, trying to walk as straight and as steady as possible. By the time I make it to the door, I'm already feel much worse. My vision is mildly hazy and my senses are discombobulated. However, I persist so Tobias won't feel obligated to babysit me anymore. I didn't realize how affected my processing skills were, though, because twenty minutes later, I'm lost. _God fucking damnit. This compound isn't that big. Where the hell am I?_ I silently curse in my mind. Deciding to try and find my way back to the Pit, I turn a right corner and ram into a muscled chest. I fall backwards, unable to catch myself due to my currently lacking hand-eye coordination.

"Fuck!"

"Nikki," Eric's voice answer.

"Of course," I whisper quietly before saying louder "How the absolute _hell_ do I keep running into you everywhere I friggin' go?"

"Maybe the issue isn't with me," he replies back smartly.

"Smartass."

I struggle to my feet. That fall made my senses even more screwy. I blink and half lean on the wall, till I can find my balance. I notice Eric's eyebrows quirk up, before he gives a small smirk.

"Jesus, Nikki. How drunk are you?"

"Shut up."

"No really-"

"Shut up," I say again while moving closer to him. "I am really not in the mood to fuck around with anyone, in particular you. So if you'll just leave me alon-" My quesiness skyrockets and I react on instinct. I slid down the wall, sweat coating my forehead and neck. My skin feels sticky and uncomfortable.

"Shit Nikki."

"Hel-...please just help me back to the dorm. I have some pain pills I can help."

I don't hear his response clearly, but I feel his arms wrapping around me. He helps me stand and we start walking. Somewhere along the wall, I'm sure I passed out, because when I woke up, I was in my bed. I frown, _How the…? Eric. Why is he being nice to me?_ I try to contemplate his reasons more, but the pain behind my eyes quickly stops that progression of thought. I reach for the pain pill bottom and take two before succumbing to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note**

I am so so so sorry for the really long break; school's been crazy and it's been really hard to update and write. Nonetheless, I promise that I will have a chapter out this week and maybe one next week. Again, sorry for the unexpected hiatus.


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